

And the unrealistic concept seems to have seeped its way deep, deep within the inner soul of a one Georgetown undergrad student, who has posted on the Student Employment Office website in search of....well...it's hard to say what you'd call what he's looking for. I have a couple of choice words for what I'd call him, though.
I'll be quoting from the story which ran over there at Vox Populi (Georgetown's Blog of Record Since 1969) and which was wrote by a one Juliana Brint, of whom I have become an instant fan! After all, how can you not be a fan of one whose post is titled "Georgetown sophomore seeks personal assistant, takes premature self-importance to whole new level"? I think it's a rule that you've gotta love that! If it isn't a rule, by God, it should be!


Juliana is kind enough to provide us with the actual ad. This pompous ass
begins the job description as so: "I am a Georgetown undergrad student and part time employee in the financial services industry. I am looking for someone to take care some of my everyday tasks for 1 hr a day, 5 hrs/ week, $12/hr. I live on campus which would make things very easy convenient for a Georgetown student. The normal pay per week will be $60 ($300/month), even though on occasion it will be possible to work additional hours and/or receive bonuses at my discretion." Um, wait. What?

ONE hour a day? You're s
o freaking busy that you just cannot for the life of you figure out how to squeeze in that all important hour of tedious tasks that must be done? When you're twenty?? What could those tasks consist of? Look, when I was 20 I was going to school full time and working full time and really, the only task that I would have considered paying to have someone do for me is to change the bong water once in a while. Other than that, I'm not coming up with much that I couldn't handle on my own. (And by the way, I'm guessing that "part time employee in the financial services industry" means "mail clerk at the B of A".)

I'm also just loving how it "will be possible" to work more at his discretion!! He also seems to be a bit lacking in the knowledge of exactly how long the typical month is, as he's talking $60 per week, but $300 per month. That's five weeks a month by his calculating. Oh, but don't worry. He's employed by the financial services industry. I'm sure he's just using the same kind of math that they used when they threw together that TARP package or the bank bailouts or the stimulus package or one of those programs that has either done nothing, has horribly failed, or cannot possibly be assessed because there's no way to account for any of the funds. Yeah, don't worry about that.
Mr. Booked Solid continues with "The schedule is completely
flexible because I do not need to be around when you do the work. You can even spread it out over the course of the day. As my PA you will receive an email once a day by 9:00 am with a task list for that day and a time estimate for each task. Important tasks will be bolded on the list and must be done that day (even though everything on the list should theoretically be finished on a daily basis). At the end of the day you will send me an email telling me what tasks are incomplete or that all tasks have been completed." Wow. This guy sounds like a peach to work for. (Translation of peach = ass.)

He appears to want to h
ire someone of a sub-par intelligence level who has questionable math skills and an inordinate amount of free time. This is evidenced by his explaining "Tasks such as doing laundry that involve a lot of waiting around (time when you could be doing other tasks or doing your own stuff) will be counted for the approximate amount of time it would take to do the labor involved. For instance, laundry will be counted for half an hour even though a laundry cycle takes 1.5 hrs to complete." Um, no. Wait a minute. This guy wants someone to do his laundry?! What else does he want someone to do for him??

Glad you asked!
- Organize closet
- Make bed
- Drop off / pick up dry cleaning
- Drop me off / pick me up from work
- Do laundry
- Fill up gas tank
- Bring car for servicing
- Schedule appointment for haircut
- Pay parking tickets
- Manage electronic accounts
- Other random tasks.
I see. He wants to hire his mother.


And did he really claim to be employed by "the financial services industry" but yet also say that he wants his personal assistant/slave to "manage electronic accounts"? He must not get a lot of wind about what's going on from his stool in the mailroom.

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