It would seem as though Jermaine Jackson has appointed himself to be the family heir. Not to Michael, but to Joseph, the Jackson's sleazy, greedy father and self-admitted beater of his children during their childhood. Joseph Jackson, as you may or may not recall, made it very clear shortly after Michael Jackson's death that he would attempt to profit as much as he could and as soon as he could from the death of his son. I believe it was on the red carpet at the BET awards show when he was asked how his wife and other children were doing and if he wan
ted to make a statement. His reply? "They are all doing fine. : But I want to make this statement. This is a real good statement here. Marshall and I have -- we own a record company...called Ranch Records…It’s driven by Blu-ray technology, and that’s the next step.” Um, yeah, see, the question was more about how you were doing dealing with the death of your son THE DAY BEFORE. It's...um...odd that he would have interpreted that question to mean "Take this opportunity to promote anything you might be working on at the moment, you 80-plus year old, coattail riding, gravy train hopping, sleaze monger, you." But miscommunications DO occur. Onward!
Stepping onto the gravy train and taking the reins would be Jermaine Jackson. Now, I don't know a whole lot about Jermaine, nor do I know if there is a whole lot TO know. And I didn't do a ton of research on the guy, but I did manage to read about his marital history and the number of children he has spawned. That whole chapter told me just about what I needed to know about Jermaine. Let's see if you come to the same conclusions: The guy got married in 1973 to Hazel Gordy (daughter of Berry Gordy) and they had two children, Jermaine Jr. in 1977 and Autumn Jackson in 1978. Somewhere during the marriage, Jermaine found himself and his penis straying from his wife and allegedly ended up impregnating someone else and allegedly producing a daughter, Dawn. For some reason, Hazel stayed with Jerk-maine. Too bad Jerk-maine didn't learn from the learn from the lessons of his wayward sex organ, as he hooked up a one Margaret Maldonado whilst still married to Hazel. Do you see where this is going? 
Clearly, he's not the most moral chap I've ever heard of. He also doesn't seem to have any money. So he's a broke, amoral dude whose brother just died. I mean, whose brother, who has the potential to make him millions if he justwhores himself plays his cards right, just died. And he is going to ride this gravy train with biscuits for wheels straight to hell (if we're lucky). Jermaine is planning an "international tribute" to his late brother. And by "international" I mean that it's going to be held in Vienna because, of course, Michael Jackson "loved castles." Um, wait. What now?
That's right. He "loved castles". So they have to have it in Vienna? The location of the motherlode of all castles? What? There's castles in America! We have, um, Hearst! Hearst Castle! And White Castle! Geez! There's castles! Perhaps Jermaine has a bit of that 'extravagant' and 'eccentric' gene that Michael seemed to have an abundance of. Whatever it is, it's going to be in Vienna on September 26.
Now, you can't plan a tribute concert like this all by yourself. You need help. You need seasoned professionals who are good at this thing and who know what to do. That means, if you're Jermaine Jackson, you need Shawn Southwick. I said, you need Shawn Southwick. You know. SHAWN! SOUTHWICK! The wife of almost-octogenarian Larry King! Behold!
Good Lord, how did THESE two ever team up? According to the NY Post, they've kno
wn each other "for quite a while" and were going to "...sing their duet, "Will You Be There," and release a CD from the event." That according to Ms. Southwick's spokesman, Howard Rubenstein. Um, OK. Tell me, Sir Spokeshole, that CD that they wanted to release? The Jermaine Jackson-Shawn Southwick duet CD? Yeah, that one. WHO is that FOR? WHO do they think is actually going to BUY that? What type of person is clamoring for that CD? I realize that they're probably a perfect match - a money grabbing wife of a barely coherent 75-year old talk show host and a money grabbing brother of a deceased pop star, but that still doesn't explain how that pairing is going to sell CDs.
And here's where it starts to get sleazy. Er. Sleazy-er. Sleazier. According to the same said spokeshole, Howard Rubenstein, "...listed President Obama as "confirmed talent" as well as Al Pacino, Colin Powell and Richard Branson." Wait. Barack Obama, Al Pacino, Colin Powell and Richard Branson? Together at last?! Finally! Hold it!!
President Barry is "confirmed talent"? Exactly what "talent" would he be displaying that would cause it to be "confirmed"? I am unaware of any "talent", confirmed or unconfirmed, that President Barry possesses and is willing to share with the world from a stage in Vienna at a concert for Michael Jackson being staged by Shawn Southwick. That just doesn't sound like the US President that I am aware of. And as for the other three, I'll give them credit for being diverse. No credit for being realistic or logical, but diverse. They would have been more believable if their "confirmed talent" consisted of Bubbles the Chimp and Muscles the Boa Constrictor. THAT I would have believed. (It's wacky enough and it's in that same Jacko realm that we were all so familiar with before he croaked.)
Other "confirmed performers" include Usher, Lionel Richie and Whitney Houston, a
gain according to spokeshole Howard Rubenstein. And the World Awards producer, a one Georg Kindel, "...hinted that Madonna would perform." Wow. Won't that be tricky for her to do in the midst of her "Sticky and Sweet" tour? Of course it would be! And her spokeswoman, a one Liz Rosenberg seemed to back up that notion by stating, "It's not true. She's still on tour." And Howard might want to get together with Whitney's spokeswoman and soon! That's because a one Jill Fritzo, aforementioned spokeswoman said, "Not that I am aware of." when asked to confirm the now betoothed Houston as a performer. The White House also issued a similar denial of President Barry's attendance.
So this is all crap, right? Jermaine has NO performers, does he? Yet the spokeshole for Shawn Southwick is going around spouting that President Barry will headline the "confirmed talent". Oh, wait a second. This is becoming more and more clear to me. Again, according to the NY Post, "The original promotional materials, which sought sponsors willing to pay up to $3 million..." EACH?? That's optimistic if I've ever heard optimism before. Wow. Sooooo they're definitely interested in money. And a lot of it.
Upon checking out the tribute website, I learned that "A SUBSTANTIAL PORTION OF THE PROCEEDS attained by The Tribute will be donated to important charities." Allegedly. The first three charities that Jermaine announced included Larry Jones’ Feed The Children, The Larry King Cardiac Foundation, and "Jermaine's own EARTH CARE FOUNDATION." Wait. What?
That's right. Suddenly, the multi-child-ed, broke, hadn't been seen in
public since 2004, brother of Michael Jackson has a foundation. Allegedly. A little checking on this one seems to confirm that while there IS an Earth Care Foundation (really it's Earth Care International), they have absolutely nothing to do with Jermaine Jackson. Nothing. And apparently, in the past, as recently as 2006, he has claimed that he founded something called Earth Vision International. Again, there IS an Earth Vision International, but it's a film festival taking place in Santa Cruz, CA every year. It is NOT a Jermaine Jackson foundation. In fact, it would appear that there are NO Jermaine Jackson foundations to be found.
I feel pretty comfortable in saying that I think that Jermaine Jackson is full of crap. He's using dead Michael to drum up money for alive Jermaine. And he is shameless about it. And apparently, there is no limit to how far he is willing to go with his scams. He involved Shawn Southwick, for cryin' out loud! Need I say more?!
I kid. The man seems to be milking his brother's death for every penny he can squeeze out of it. Can anyone just SAY that they have a "foundation" even if they don't? Isn't there a penalty for that? Shouldn't you have to show or have documentation of your alleged "foundation" before putting it on your marquee as a benefactor for some grand money generating endeavor? But then again, I don't know what good that would be in this situation if he's throwing the fake tribute concert in Vienna, the land for those who loved castles. (Translation: Far enough away from the US that he might be able to get away with his fake foundation benefit scheme.)
ted to make a statement. His reply? "They are all doing fine. : But I want to make this statement. This is a real good statement here. Marshall and I have -- we own a record company...called Ranch Records…It’s driven by Blu-ray technology, and that’s the next step.” Um, yeah, see, the question was more about how you were doing dealing with the death of your son THE DAY BEFORE. It's...um...odd that he would have interpreted that question to mean "Take this opportunity to promote anything you might be working on at the moment, you 80-plus year old, coattail riding, gravy train hopping, sleaze monger, you." But miscommunications DO occur. Onward!
Stepping onto the gravy train and taking the reins would be Jermaine Jackson. Now, I don't know a whole lot about Jermaine, nor do I know if there is a whole lot TO know. And I didn't do a ton of research on the guy, but I did manage to read about his marital history and the number of children he has spawned. That whole chapter told me just about what I needed to know about Jermaine. Let's see if you come to the same conclusions: The guy got married in 1973 to Hazel Gordy (daughter of Berry Gordy) and they had two children, Jermaine Jr. in 1977 and Autumn Jackson in 1978. Somewhere during the marriage, Jermaine found himself and his penis straying from his wife and allegedly ended up impregnating someone else and allegedly producing a daughter, Dawn. For some reason, Hazel stayed with Jerk-maine. Too bad Jerk-maine didn't learn from the learn from the lessons of his wayward sex organ, as he hooked up a one Margaret Maldonado whilst still married to Hazel. Do you see where this is going? 
Jerk-maine ended up what? Impregnating Margaret, that is correct. Margaret gave birth to his son Jeremy in 1986. Two illegitimate children outside the confines of her marriage was enough for Hazel and she divorced Jerk-maine. I don't know if she knew that she was pregnant at the time, but she was. And she wasn't the only one. That's correct. Jermaine's wife AND girlfriend were BOTH pregnant at the SAME TIME. Stay classy, Jermaine! So then Hazel gives birth the Jaimy. Then Margaret gives birth to Jourdyn. Whew! Time for a breather.
But not a long one! (Oh, I'm FAR from done!) Margaret and
Jermaine never got married (not that it would have mattered if they HAD, apparently) and they split after about 5-6 years. After that was over, Jerk-maine did just what you'd expect him to do and married his brother Randy Jackson’s ex-wife Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza a couple of years after the split from baby factory number three. That union produced son Jaffar Jackson and another son Jermajesty sometime before they split in 2004. (By the way, Alejandra was married to another guy at the time that she married Jerk-maine. So technically, when she married Jerk-maine, she really didn't because she was already married.) His current wife is a one Halima Rashid whom he married in 2004. NOW I'm done.
But not a long one! (Oh, I'm FAR from done!) Margaret and
Jermaine never got married (not that it would have mattered if they HAD, apparently) and they split after about 5-6 years. After that was over, Jerk-maine did just what you'd expect him to do and married his brother Randy Jackson’s ex-wife Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza a couple of years after the split from baby factory number three. That union produced son Jaffar Jackson and another son Jermajesty sometime before they split in 2004. (By the way, Alejandra was married to another guy at the time that she married Jerk-maine. So technically, when she married Jerk-maine, she really didn't because she was already married.) His current wife is a one Halima Rashid whom he married in 2004. NOW I'm done. Wait. One more thing. Jermajesty???
Clearly, he's not the most moral chap I've ever heard of. He also doesn't seem to have any money. So he's a broke, amoral dude whose brother just died. I mean, whose brother, who has the potential to make him millions if he just
That's right. He "loved castles". So they have to have it in Vienna? The location of the motherlode of all castles? What? There's castles in America! We have, um, Hearst! Hearst Castle! And White Castle! Geez! There's castles! Perhaps Jermaine has a bit of that 'extravagant' and 'eccentric' gene that Michael seemed to have an abundance of. Whatever it is, it's going to be in Vienna on September 26.Now, you can't plan a tribute concert like this all by yourself. You need help. You need seasoned professionals who are good at this thing and who know what to do. That means, if you're Jermaine Jackson, you need Shawn Southwick. I said, you need Shawn Southwick. You know. SHAWN! SOUTHWICK! The wife of almost-octogenarian Larry King! Behold!
Good Lord, how did THESE two ever team up? According to the NY Post, they've kno
wn each other "for quite a while" and were going to "...sing their duet, "Will You Be There," and release a CD from the event." That according to Ms. Southwick's spokesman, Howard Rubenstein. Um, OK. Tell me, Sir Spokeshole, that CD that they wanted to release? The Jermaine Jackson-Shawn Southwick duet CD? Yeah, that one. WHO is that FOR? WHO do they think is actually going to BUY that? What type of person is clamoring for that CD? I realize that they're probably a perfect match - a money grabbing wife of a barely coherent 75-year old talk show host and a money grabbing brother of a deceased pop star, but that still doesn't explain how that pairing is going to sell CDs.And here's where it starts to get sleazy. Er. Sleazy-er. Sleazier. According to the same said spokeshole, Howard Rubenstein, "...listed President Obama as "confirmed talent" as well as Al Pacino, Colin Powell and Richard Branson." Wait. Barack Obama, Al Pacino, Colin Powell and Richard Branson? Together at last?! Finally! Hold it!!
President Barry is "confirmed talent"? Exactly what "talent" would he be displaying that would cause it to be "confirmed"? I am unaware of any "talent", confirmed or unconfirmed, that President Barry possesses and is willing to share with the world from a stage in Vienna at a concert for Michael Jackson being staged by Shawn Southwick. That just doesn't sound like the US President that I am aware of. And as for the other three, I'll give them credit for being diverse. No credit for being realistic or logical, but diverse. They would have been more believable if their "confirmed talent" consisted of Bubbles the Chimp and Muscles the Boa Constrictor. THAT I would have believed. (It's wacky enough and it's in that same Jacko realm that we were all so familiar with before he croaked.)Other "confirmed performers" include Usher, Lionel Richie and Whitney Houston, a
gain according to spokeshole Howard Rubenstein. And the World Awards producer, a one Georg Kindel, "...hinted that Madonna would perform." Wow. Won't that be tricky for her to do in the midst of her "Sticky and Sweet" tour? Of course it would be! And her spokeswoman, a one Liz Rosenberg seemed to back up that notion by stating, "It's not true. She's still on tour." And Howard might want to get together with Whitney's spokeswoman and soon! That's because a one Jill Fritzo, aforementioned spokeswoman said, "Not that I am aware of." when asked to confirm the now betoothed Houston as a performer. The White House also issued a similar denial of President Barry's attendance.So this is all crap, right? Jermaine has NO performers, does he? Yet the spokeshole for Shawn Southwick is going around spouting that President Barry will headline the "confirmed talent". Oh, wait a second. This is becoming more and more clear to me. Again, according to the NY Post, "The original promotional materials, which sought sponsors willing to pay up to $3 million..." EACH?? That's optimistic if I've ever heard optimism before. Wow. Sooooo they're definitely interested in money. And a lot of it.
Upon checking out the tribute website, I learned that "A SUBSTANTIAL PORTION OF THE PROCEEDS attained by The Tribute will be donated to important charities." Allegedly. The first three charities that Jermaine announced included Larry Jones’ Feed The Children, The Larry King Cardiac Foundation, and "Jermaine's own EARTH CARE FOUNDATION." Wait. What?
That's right. Suddenly, the multi-child-ed, broke, hadn't been seen in
public since 2004, brother of Michael Jackson has a foundation. Allegedly. A little checking on this one seems to confirm that while there IS an Earth Care Foundation (really it's Earth Care International), they have absolutely nothing to do with Jermaine Jackson. Nothing. And apparently, in the past, as recently as 2006, he has claimed that he founded something called Earth Vision International. Again, there IS an Earth Vision International, but it's a film festival taking place in Santa Cruz, CA every year. It is NOT a Jermaine Jackson foundation. In fact, it would appear that there are NO Jermaine Jackson foundations to be found.I feel pretty comfortable in saying that I think that Jermaine Jackson is full of crap. He's using dead Michael to drum up money for alive Jermaine. And he is shameless about it. And apparently, there is no limit to how far he is willing to go with his scams. He involved Shawn Southwick, for cryin' out loud! Need I say more?!
I kid. The man seems to be milking his brother's death for every penny he can squeeze out of it. Can anyone just SAY that they have a "foundation" even if they don't? Isn't there a penalty for that? Shouldn't you have to show or have documentation of your alleged "foundation" before putting it on your marquee as a benefactor for some grand money generating endeavor? But then again, I don't know what good that would be in this situation if he's throwing the fake tribute concert in Vienna, the land for those who loved castles. (Translation: Far enough away from the US that he might be able to get away with his fake foundation benefit scheme.)
Man, where is Michael Jackson's shady doctor at a time like this when he could really be of some use?
No comments:
Post a Comment