Reality Shows Without Reality Stars

I'm pretty sure that we're all pretty much almost done with reality TV. I mean, if we weren't done with it before the whole Jon-Gosselin-is-a-douchebag-and-probably-uses-Axe-Body-Spray ordeal, we've certainly had our fill of it after above referenced ordeal. So what do we do now that we're all fully aware that reality shows can, just as in real reality, go horribly awry? I think we may have to turn our attention to reality that has already gone horribly awry and we're just enjoying the ride downhill along with it.

Take for example the Twitter account of a one Justin Halpern. But really, he's just Justin. According to the folks over at The Live Feed, Justin's Twitters are so amusing and have amassed such a large following in a relatively short period of time, that they are now developing a comedy pilot TV show for CBS based upon his 140-character pearls of wisdom under a title which he has dubbed "Sh*t My Dad Says". That's right. Sh*t his Dad says. Really, if you think about it, this isn't such a farfetched idea. I am of the bent that everyone needs a crotchety old man in their life to guide them along. And while that's not really how Justin's whole dealio got going, it's still something to think about.

The Bio on Justin's Twitter page sums it all up. "I'm 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says." And that's all there is to it. It's not like this oldster is spouting out stuff left and right. That would be hard to believe, much less to take. From what I can tell (and so can you if you're interested enough to click the link above) it seems that this man spews genius about once every other day. And what he says is really so awesome that it suffices enough to keep people interested enough to wait for the next one to pop up. Some examples of the Elder Halpern's statements and/or advice to his son are as follows:

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

"You sure do like to tailgate people... Right, because it's real important you show up to the nothing you have to do on time."

"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."

"Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it."

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

"No. Tell 'em we're not doing Christmas dinner at a casino...Don't be an ass about it, but tell them why it's a f*cking stupid idea."

Yeah, they're going to need to do a little editing over there at CBS before that sucker hits the air, but I still think it will be awesome. I will definitely give that sitcom at least one look. They'd better not screw it up. That man is a gold mine. Does he have health insurance? Get him some, Justin. Now.

Another website which I could see potential reality show potential is the one Facebook Fails. I have gotten a great deal of amusement out of this website because I take great joy in seeing the multiple ways that people totally set themselves up for complete and utter failure at whatever it was that they were trying to accomplish. It's awesome. (See, it's things like this where I am completely conflicted about not wanting any morons in this world. They're delightful individuals as long as they're entertaining, only on the InterWebs and stay the hell away from me. Oh, and don't vote. Just because you can make someone almost pee because you're so stupid doesn't mean that you need to be making decisions that could potentially effect the entire country.)

Some Facebook Fails samples for you are below. (You might have to click on them to get them to enlarge if they're too small and blurry as-is. Hey! I'm just the messenger. It's not my fault if people can't clean up their screenshots before submission.):

Yeah, that's some awesome stuff right there. I could see a series built around that sort of concept. The characters would all be clueless and overly confident in not only their abilities, but also of their accomplishments. It would, however, be hard to fathom a believable plot in which they were all able to support themselves and not living in their parent's basements. That's a dilemma that could certainly hold up production for a bit.

And finally, while I can't figure out how a series could be made out of this, it would be great if someone else could figure it out because then I'd be extremely entertained at least once a week! Over yonder at the Cake Wrecks blog, fashioned by a one Jen Yates and her husband, John, we get to see what happens when professional cakes go horribly, horribly awry. While there might not be the basis for some sort of TV series, there was enough material for a book and a very successful book signing tour which is still going strong. It's not just the photos of the cakes that are less than one would have expected, but it's also the captions which understand your disbelief and try to help you make sense of it all. (I'm not including the caption in hopes that it will give some the incentive to check out her blog. It really is quite hilarious.)

Yep, certainly wouldn't mind seeing a little bit of reality TV made from any of these, just as long as they're all done with actors and not with the actual individuals involved. Please. Like we need another Jon Gosselin on our hands. There isn't that much Axe Body Spray to go around. Granted, that's not necessarily a bad thing (sounds pretty good, to tell you the truth), but another Jon Gosselin is necessarily a bad thing. Trust me on this one.

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