We're so doomed. So, so doomed. How have we become so soft that we have let the term and/or the concept of "offensive" become so misinterpreted and mis-implemented (I don't think that's really a word, but it's what I meant, so that's what I went with)? Seriously. It's to the point where BURGER commercials are now "offensive" and must not only be pulled from the airwaves immediately, but must also have the offending company issue some sort of an apology. Good Lord, people. Check yourselves.Today's asininity (I'm just all full of makin' up words today) and blatant fake controversy (the fakeroversy) comes to us courtesy of The California Italian-American Task Force an
d the National Italian American Federation. The object of said fakeroversy is Carl's Jr., the home of delicious burgers and that lovely yellow star logo. According to Slashfood, a one Jeff Capaccio, the NIAF's regional vice president for the Far West, Carl's Jr. created and perpetrated commercial advertising that depicted "negative, inaccurate and unfair characterizations" about those of the Italian persuasion. He went on to say that the ads "...only fuel further incorrect assumptions about an entire ethnic group." Wow. Those are some pretty strong accusations. Carl's Jr. must have really messed up on this one, eh? Yeah, not so fast. The ad under fire 
is advertising something called the Carl's Jr. Chicken Parmesan Sandwich. It's a fried chicken breast, slathered in marinara sauce and served on a bun. Chicken? Goooood. Marinara sauce? Goood. Slathering? Goooooooooood. What's not to like? (And it looks friggin' delicious over there!) Well, if the commercial ended there, it would have probably been fine for the whiners over at the CIATF and the NIAF.
is advertising something called the Carl's Jr. Chicken Parmesan Sandwich. It's a fried chicken breast, slathered in marinara sauce and served on a bun. Chicken? Goooood. Marinara sauce? Goood. Slathering? Goooooooooood. What's not to like? (And it looks friggin' delicious over there!) Well, if the commercial ended there, it would have probably been fine for the whiners over at the CIATF and the NIAF. What you have is a guy sitting in his car eating this luscious sounding sandwich.
He has the sauce dripping all over the place. All over his face, all over his shirt, everywhere. Apparently, the man was raised by feral wolves or something and can't figure out how to not make a mess of said sandwich. He sees a car pull up behind him (because our hero is such a genius that he's eating his sandwich and making himself a mess down at the docks) and these two big mafia like guys get out and walk toward him. Not being as dumb as someone who would be eating their sandwich in their car alone at the docks, the guy plays dead. The mafia folks, not being as smart as our hero, think that the sauce is blood and they get the Hello Kitty out of there under the assumption that someone else had already killed him and there was nothing left for them to do there. I found it amusing. Those Italian Federation people found it offensive. Wait. What?
He has the sauce dripping all over the place. All over his face, all over his shirt, everywhere. Apparently, the man was raised by feral wolves or something and can't figure out how to not make a mess of said sandwich. He sees a car pull up behind him (because our hero is such a genius that he's eating his sandwich and making himself a mess down at the docks) and these two big mafia like guys get out and walk toward him. Not being as dumb as someone who would be eating their sandwich in their car alone at the docks, the guy plays dead. The mafia folks, not being as smart as our hero, think that the sauce is blood and they get the Hello Kitty out of there under the assumption that someone else had already killed him and there was nothing left for them to do there. I found it amusing. Those Italian Federation people found it offensive. Wait. What?
That's right. Offensive. Apparently, according to those completely baseless claims made by those groups, that particular ad with the "mobster and garbage man characters" is only reinforcing "negative Italian-American stereotypes." How come it's not reinforcing negative stereotypes against mobsters and garbage men? How come it's not like that? I don't hear the sanitation worker's unions causing some sort of a uproar about all of this! Shouldn't they be the ones all riled up?! Well, if you consider that no one should be all riled up about this, then NO! Seriously, what is wrong with people?Let me ask you this: These particularly complain-y groups, were they all in an
uproar about The Sopranos? Because from what I can tell, they were not. But they've got their shorts bunched up over a burger commercial? How do they justify that?! That's right, they probably can't. I'm thinking that if you're going to get upset over some sort of stereotype that has to do with the Italian mafia (never mind that there is an Italian mafia and that they do shoot people on occasion, regardless as to whether they're eating a sandwich or not), you might want to make a little noise about The Sopranos. Or what about "The Godfather"? Any problems with those?! Holy crap, if those both don't depict the stereotypical Italian mafia, then I don't know what does. But I still know what doesn't and it's that damned Carl's Jr. commercial. (And really, if any group should be "offended" by this ad, shouldn't it be chickens?) The commercial is below. See for yourself.
uproar about The Sopranos? Because from what I can tell, they were not. But they've got their shorts bunched up over a burger commercial? How do they justify that?! That's right, they probably can't. I'm thinking that if you're going to get upset over some sort of stereotype that has to do with the Italian mafia (never mind that there is an Italian mafia and that they do shoot people on occasion, regardless as to whether they're eating a sandwich or not), you might want to make a little noise about The Sopranos. Or what about "The Godfather"? Any problems with those?! Holy crap, if those both don't depict the stereotypical Italian mafia, then I don't know what does. But I still know what doesn't and it's that damned Carl's Jr. commercial. (And really, if any group should be "offended" by this ad, shouldn't it be chickens?) The commercial is below. See for yourself. 
This is a perfect example of a fakeroversy. It's just a bunch of people wanting to be victimized and just making stuff up in order to try and appear that way. And Carl's Jr., by caving into their newly created fakeroversy, only fuels the fire for this sort of thing to be guaranteed to happen in the future again. What are they afraid is going to happen if they tell groups that allege to be "offended" to go blow themselves? Do they not realize that the majority of the American public is just waiting, waiting for a company to tell one of these allegedly offended organizations that they don't care if they're offended because whatever it is isn't offensive? I swear! And I can practically guarantee that when a company finally, finally comes out with that attitude, no matter what they sell, with the exception of Nazi memorabilia (as they pretty much already tell anyone who is offended to go fornicate with themselves), their sales will skyrocket. Again, I ask (translation: beg) that you please review American History 101 or even A History of
American Economics 101 and note that successful boycotts are rare. (Give me one example of a successful boycott in this country other than the Montgomery bus boycott in the 1960s. One. I'll wait. OK, never mind. I can't wait that long because you're not going to come up with one. But someday, if you do, leave a comment or email me.) And once you have completed said review, please tell these soft, soft, softheaded organizations with their inflammatory "offended" stance to go pleasure themselves. Then go support the company that they had claimed was offensive. What's not to support (and love) about a Parmesan Chicken Sandwich from Carl's Jr.? Mmmm.....chicken with sauce that looks like blood. (See, that is why I am not in charge of the Carl's Jr. advertising. You want offensive? That was offensive!)
American Economics 101 and note that successful boycotts are rare. (Give me one example of a successful boycott in this country other than the Montgomery bus boycott in the 1960s. One. I'll wait. OK, never mind. I can't wait that long because you're not going to come up with one. But someday, if you do, leave a comment or email me.) And once you have completed said review, please tell these soft, soft, softheaded organizations with their inflammatory "offended" stance to go pleasure themselves. Then go support the company that they had claimed was offensive. What's not to support (and love) about a Parmesan Chicken Sandwich from Carl's Jr.? Mmmm.....chicken with sauce that looks like blood. (See, that is why I am not in charge of the Carl's Jr. advertising. You want offensive? That was offensive!)
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