Don't They Want To Know What SOPA Is?

In case you haven't heard, some pretty big websites will be shutting down for 12 hours today in protest of a bill that some out of touch lawmakers are trying to get passed. The bill is called SOPA and that stands for the Stop Online Piracy Act. And while online piracy is bad, SOPA is even worse. Basically, SOPA would make it criminal to have any copyrighted material (and the definition of 'material' is so broad that it applies to just about anything and everything) on any website. Think about that. That's impossible to work around if you're a website. And really, it wouldn't exactly stop piracy. (The bill itself seems to have little indication that whoever wrote it has ever used the Internet or understands what piracy actually is.) This blog would cease to exist because of all of the pictures that I use with neither permission, nor malice. The implication of SOPA is that so many websites would cease to exist because of this law. Thus, several websites are going dark today to not only protest, but to also raise awareness of what this law could potentially do. But shockingly enough, people aren't quite understanding that this isn't a personal attack upon them.


Wikipedia is one of the major sites that will be dark today. Now, I don't know about you, but if I found out that a certain website that I frequented was unavailable in protest of some sort of new law that might happen, I'm pretty sure that I'd find out what the heck is going on. (And actually, one of my favorite websites, Reddit, is dark today in protest of SOPA. I imagine that today could end up being quite productive once I stop twitching from withdrawals..) But that doesn't seem to be the case with Wikipedia. No, people don't seem all that interested in why. Shocking, I know. All people seem to be interested in is (brace yourself) themselves. The big picture appears to be non-existent for a lot of folks.

I say that because I've been perusing the tweets that have gone out in regard to the darkness of Wikipedia. What I've learned is disconcerting at best and hypothesis affirming at worst. (That hypothesis being that we're doomed. OK, maybe that's not so much a hypothesis as it is something that I see society inching a little closer to every single day. It's still bad.) Let's look at some tweets and see if you notice the one thing that is glaringly missing from all of them.

By the way, I wish that I could take credit for compiling all of these lovely tweets, but alas, I cannot. I found them in the Twitter feed of a (I'm sure) lovely one Katie Notopoulos. She seems like a hoot. But I'm simply basing that on her tweet that read "fight SOPA; send your congressman a d**kpic". (And by the way, under SOPA, neither Katie, nor I would be able to be putting any of this stuff on the Internet. So there's that. But I digress. Where was I? Oh, right. She's funny and she retweeted the following. Behold!







First of all, I can only hope that some of these people were tweeting these sentiments in an ironic fashion. Second, are they aware that Wikipedia, while a lovely source of information, is edited by regular people and can be changed at any given moment to say whatever you want it to say until someone else notices that Gary Oldman really isn't a giraffe or that Snoop Dogg's "Gin & Juice" is a "masterpiece" and then edits it to be more factual? I didn't even know that Wikipedia was being accepted by teachers/professors as a citable source. I'm not saying that there isn't great information on Wikipedia. There is. I'm just saying that it can't always be trusted to be correct. (I'm also saying that I may or may not have participated at one time in the altering of some Wikipedia entries in order to make them more humorous and to reflect my incredible disdain for people who may or may not be Gloria Allred. That's all.)

But did you notice that not one of these Wikipedia dependent individuals didn't even question what in the world SOPA is? They think that Wikipedia shutting down for twelve hours is a problem? Are they aware that if SOPA was to pass that Wikipedia would likely be shut down for good? Why isn't anyone asking what SOPA is? Why isn't anyone asking why Wikipedia will be shut down? Man, how I wish that Facebook would do something like this. Could you imagine? The country would collectively wet itself if it couldn't get on Facebook for an entire day. (And let me tell you that if SOPA were to pass, Facebook would need to be shut down as well.) And people would ask what is up if Facebook went dark.

Today might be my most productive day ever without some of my favorite websites to mess around on and waste an extraordinary amount of time on. I might even go outside. I hear that's nice.

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Ungrateful Christmas Tweets

Well, Christmas is over and that means it's time to scour Twitter to see how many people are out there that I want to have eradicated from the planet. I'm not a huge fan of Twitter to begin with. I think it has something to do with the fact that when you can only have 140 characters and everything that people write consists of too many abbreviations and misspellings. Seriously, I could do without ever again seeing a word that ends with a 'Z' instead of the 'S'. (It's NOT cool! It makes you look like an illiterate dimwit.) Anyway, here is a compilation of some of the post-Christmas tweets from the most ungrateful members of our species. Seriously, it is stuff like this that makes me build the wall around my walled off compound even higher. (I know that it's too small to read, but if you click on this link and then click on the image that the link takes you to, you'll be able to see all of this asininity in its full fledged glory. Try not to stab yourself when you're done reading. Oh, and congratulations if you actually make it to the end of the tweets. I almost didn't.)

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No One Got A Second Chance

Have you thought about Chris Brown lately? No? Me neither. And I don't know that there aren't a lot of other people that are in the same boat. All floating there and all not thinking about Chris Brown. Maybe he realized that and that's why he decided to send out a tweet that seemed to convey how butthurt he is these days. Then again, since the tweet didn't really make a lot of sense, he might not have known what he was tweeting at all.

See, he got done with an appearance on the Today show. According to something called The Gothamist, it was the largest crowd to ever show up for one of those morning show, musical guest taping things. So what was his problem? I don't know. You tell me. Here's the tweet that he twat after his performance: "Its funny how many second chances mainstream America gives some of their white celebs(Charlie sheen, kacey anthony. etc)". Behold! Oh, and WTF?

OK, where to begin? I'll tell you where I'm NOT going to begin and that is with the racist implication. We don't hate you because you're black, Chris. We hate you because when you say things like this it makes you sound like a total douche canoe. Oh, and because you beat up women. So since I'm not starting there, I guess I'll go with the next obvious being the Casey Anthony thing. If he thinks that "mainstream America" is giving Casey Anthony a second chance, then he has a pretty funny idea of what a second chance consists of. People want to kill her. They don't just want to see her dead. No, they want to do the actual killing. That's not very second chance-y if you ask me. And Charlie Sheen? He's just that train wreck that we all love watching. AND if he has been given a "second chance" it's because he doesn't pretend to be anything that he is not. With Charlie, what you see is what you get and he doesn't make any excuses for that. Can you say that about yourself, Chris Brown? I didn't think so.

And you know what else, Mr. Brown? If "mainstream America" is just too damn racist for you, what say you shut up about it and leave. If it's SOOOoooo terrible here and full of SOOOoooo many racists, what are you doing here? Out! As in get. Get out! No one's making you stay here. And even if we were (though I cannot for the life of me imagine why) it wouldn't be because we were a bunch of racists. You're just a guy who beats up women. I don't care what color you are, I'd still think that you're a total loser.

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Just Stop Being A Perv!

Holy crap. Look, I know that I've wrote way too much about penises this week (Penii?) and in more ways than one. I've wrote about people who are named after schlongs (Anthony Weiner) and people who just are acting like dicks. (Anthony Weiner again. Shocking, I know.) And since he won't resigns and keeps pulling crap, I have to keep getting all bent out of shape about it. (Which, by the way, is what I wish would happen to his wang.) And yesterday, he pulled the ultimate lame-ass move for someone who has been caught acting like the pig that they are. That's right. Anthony Weiner went into "treatment".

Treatment for what? You jackass! Treatment for how to not act like the downtown corner trenchcoat flasher? Treatment for how not to act like a 14-year old boy in the full throttle of hormones surges? Treatment for the proper care and usage of a flipping cell phone?! Treatment for how to be a better liar (because you have sucked at lying the entire time)? Treatment for how to not cheat on your wife of about one year who is newly pregnant? Any of those? Any of 'em? Bueller? Bueller? Treatment for WHAT?! You don't need "treatment". You need a friggin' belt! And you need to keep it ON your pants so that you're not tempted to drop them and take pictures of your thing and send them over Twitter to college girls! That's what he needs!

Go! Go away, take your penis with you (as if he'd ever go anywhere without at least an 8x10 glossy of it) and just go away. Please listen to people in your party who are requesting that you resign. Just stop making a mockery of this whole deal and making people think about your weenie. Go! At least if you resign and go away, then you can be your pervo self and not a pervo Congressman. It's none of my business what you do if you're not part of a government that my taxes help support. Get out. Go! And good luck with your "treatment". I hope your wife has lunch with Lorena Bobbitt. She might have some tips on how to handle something like this.

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He's STILL Lying!

Well, here's a shocker. I hope you're sitting down because do you remember those weiner shots that were sent from Anthony Weiner's Twitter account last week? The ones that he strongly denied sending? The ones that he said were a result of his Twitter account being hacked? Yeah, he sent them. Shocking, I know.

He held a little press conference yesterday

where he finally admitted what anyone with half of a brain has known since allegations of Weinergate first surface. In short, he sent pictures of his aroused manhood to some chick that he had become acquainted with online. This is where my first issue comes in. Who does this sort of thing? (And I'm asking serious questions here because I am extremely confused.) What kind of a guy takes a picture of his crank and sends it to some chick with his phone? What is the thought process there? "Hey! Look at this! It's mine! Whaddaya think of that?!" I'm open to suggestions. I really don't get the thought mentality.

Next, how is what the Weiner was doing with his weiner any different than some guy in a trench coat flashing people on the street? I mean, are these things planned out? (If they are, I think that would make it a little bit weirder.) I don't think that they are. It seems like what happens is that there might be a little bit of sexy talk and then the next thing you know...BAM! Weiner in your inbox! (Figuratively speaking, of course...and for now). But really, is he any different from your friendly neighborhood flasher? I'm seeing a lot more similarities than I am differences. (And by the way, if you DO have a friendly neighborhood flasher, perhaps consider relocating to a nicer area. That's no way to go through life, son.)

I'd also like to point out that Weiner did a little "crying". I don't know if actual tears were shed, but his voice did

crack a few times and it was fairly obvious that he knew that he was in trouble. What fascinates me about this is that these jackasses can lie like a rug when they're trying to. They have NO trouble covering up ANY emotions when they are vehemently denying everything that they so totally did. They're emotionless, indignant snakes when they're lying. As soon as they're exposed (literally, in this case) they start crying like a little girl. Does anyone actually "buy" it when they cry? It just pisses me off more.And you know what pisses me off even more than that? Crappy media reporting, that is correct. Every freaking report out there that I have read about these schlong shenanigans tell me that the Weiner finally took responsibility for his actions. You're going to read it here first (and, from what I can tell, NO WHERE ELSE) that that's a bunch of crap. He hadn't talked for an entire minute before he was lying! I'm serious! Why am I the only one who caught that?! He said, "Last Friday night, I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in Seattle." What?! It was so NOT a joke! Why is everyone just breezing right over that?! He's lying! It wasn't a joke! Later on in his lame little speech, he said, "I have exchanged messages and photos of an explicit nature with about six women over the last three years." Were those jokes too, you lying piece of crap?! Why is no one calling him on this stuff?!

God, the media sucks. This guy is a weird snake. I hope he has to resign. I don't like people like him in positions of power, especially after blatantly lying to everyone under the sun about showing his wang off on Twitter! Go away, Weiner! And take your weiner with you. (By the way, NBC New York has the transcript of his lame-o apology if you want to read it.

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Grilling The Weiner

Let me ask you something. How many pictures of your wang are out there? If you're woman and therefore, wangless, perhaps you can take a moment to inventory how many pictures of your lower regions are floating around out there. I have done the same. Now, I don't know about you, but my total was zero. Thus, if you were to ask me this question, I would have an immediate answer. (I should take this opportunity to mention that figuring out that there are zero pictures like that of me out there (or ANYWHERE) took me less than two seconds.) I would have that answer so rapidly because it shouldn't be something that one has to think about for longer than the two seconds that I allotted myself. Apparently, Anthony Weiner does not fall into the same category as I (and, hopefully you) do.

When I first heard about this story, I didn't think that it could possibly be real. A

guy named Weiner is being accused of sending a picture of his weiner via Twitter?! It's like a dream come true for me! But that is what allegedly happened. (And between you and me, it totally happened. I just have to throw in "allegedly" because that's what you do when you know something totally happened.) According to Yahoo! News, "...a lewd photo was sent from the congressman's Twitter account to a 21-year old female college student via the social networking site--and it was visible for all the public to see." Yeah, that's a problem. Not as much of a problem as his reaction to what happened, but definitely a problem.

He sure didn't take it all that seriously at first. I'd be rather alarmed if someone was sending pictures of my wang across Twitter (and just not because I don't have a wang) and it wasn't me doing it. But no, he just said, "Look, this is a prank and not a terribly creative one...I was hacked. It happens to people. You move on." Huh. You're not even just mildly curious as to who is sending pictures under the assumption that the sender is you? Even if you're a congressman that doesn't bother you? You just want to move on? Just like that, eh? Yeah, that's usually a sign that someone doesn't want to talk about something. Here's a tip: Things like this? Try and be really upset about them. It's more believable than acting like you don't care if people send lewd pictures and make them from you. That's not believable AT ALL.

And the more that he "answered questions" about this, the more not believable it became. For instance, when Luke Russert asked him in an interview "That's not a picture of you?", his reply was not really what I would have expected from someone with NO knowledge of these sorts of shenanigans. He said, "You know, I can't say with certitude. My system was hacked. Pictures can be manipulated. Pictures can be dropped in and inserted." OK, now he's just saying words. (And for the record, it's an "account" not a "system". But I digress.) That doesn't make any sense. If pictures can be manipulated and you DON'T have any pictures of your grundle out there, then you should be able to say "NO, it's not my weiner." But more than once that is not what happened with this guy.

In a different interview, this time the the monotone voiced Wolf Blitzer, he danced around the question again. Wolf made the astute observation that "...he should be able to recognize his own underwear." Yes! Yes, he should! But again, Mr. Weiner (God, I love typing that!) replied in a way that is unimaginable to me when he said "...It certainly doesn't look familiar to me but I don't want to say with certitude to you something that I don't know to be the certain truth." How can you NOT say with certain truth that those pictures were not of you if you don't take pictures like that of yourself?! I could say for certain if a picture like that was of me. It would absolutely not be for the sole reason that there ARE NO pictures like that of me! I don't need to think about it.

Seriously, what about this exchange: Wolf continued to grill the

Weiner (I needed a BBQ-ing pun in there somewhere) directly if he had ever taken a picture like the one in question of himself. The response was less than convincing when he said "I can tell you this. There are... I have photographs. I don't know what photographs are out there in the world of me. I don't know what things have been manipulated and doctored. And we're going to try to find out what happened." Let me save you the time! I know what happened! You send a picture of your junk over Twitter to some college chick in Washington! Mystery solved!

I noticed that he didn't elaborate a whole lot on "I have photographs." Really? Of your erect manhood inside of your underwear? Why do you have those photographs? Just because your name is weiner doesn't mean that it has to be all about the weiner. Who does that? What a moron. No one wants to see a picture of your penis. They're not that great. They're kinda funny looking and I have no idea how you guys walk around with one of those things down there. But again, I digress. There are better ways to deny that you've done something extremely inadvisable than to do everything BUT deny it. Does he think we're idiots? Or is he just an idiot? Considering that it seems fairly obvious that he did send a picture of his slightly covered genitals, I'm going to go with the latter.

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I Understand

I'm certainly not saying that people should WANT to kill us. I'm merely saying that I think I understand. It's like what Chris Rock says about OJ Simpson. "So you gotta think about OJ's situation: $25,000 a month, another man drivin' his car, f***in' his wife, in a house he's still payin' a mortgage on. Now, I'm not sayin' he should have killed her...but I understand." So, when I hear the evil doers rant about how much they hate the United States, how we are the infidels, how they want to kill Americans....and then see websites like the one called Who is Osama?...I understand.
Basically, it's a Tumblr site with screen caps of tweets that folks have twat after our troops shot Osama bin Laden in the eyes and sent him to live in a pineapple under the sea. (Credit to Jon Stewart for the basis of that joke.) And the number of people who had NO CLUE as to who this a-hole was simply amazed me. And since my Photoshopp-y computer is still out of commission, I'll just copy and paste some text to give you a small sample of what kind of pinheads are out there. (Don't freak out about the lack of capitalization or punctuation. That's how these twits communicate. We are so doomed.) Try not to be afraid. Just build that wall around your house higher and higher.

"who is osama bin laden that everyone seems to be going on about?!" That one actually got a reply. Unfortunately, it was: "was just about to tweet exactly the same question! i have no idea. :L x" I don't know what that emoticon is. I don't want to know. Please don't tell me.

"Im being really stupid here, who is Osama Bin Laden? Should i know who he is?" That was also responded to. Someone replied: "i dont hAve a clue!:Lxx" I don't know why only the A is capitalized. I don't want to know. Please don't tell me.

"Wait who is osama bin laden again? I thought he got hung like 4 years ago? Considering i do geography i should reeeally know this kinda thing". Yes. Considering you "do geography" you really should know this kinda thing.

See what I mean? I'm not saying I agree with the terrorists, but sometimes, just sometimes, I understand.

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Idiocy In The Wake Of Victory

Things like the killing of Osama Bin Laden always result in good things and bad things. Good things would be stuff like Jon Stewart said. "...we shot him in the eyes and now he lives in a pineapple under the sea." Bad things would be the drivel that some NFL player named Rashard Mendenhall had to say.

Mendenhall plays for the Steelers. After the death of Weird Beard was announced, Mendenhall did what so many celebritards feel compelled to do these days...he took to Twitter to tweet. And what did he twat, you ask? He twat: "What kind of person celebrates death? It's amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We've only heard one side..." Wait. What now?

I heard him speak plenty of times! Whenever he would release one of those poorly made videotapes in which the subject was "Death to America" and "Death to the infidels". I did hear him speak. I heard him speak of killing Americans. And I don't know that when someone says that they want to kill us that I need to hear "the other side". Besides, isn't HE the other side? When 3,000 people are killed, I don't think I need another side.

But his tweeting didn't stop there! Why would you think that it would! Why would you think that he would stop such ridiculous ramblings right there? Someone who thinks that is likely someone with a lot more to say. And he didn't disappoint. He followed his initial insanity up with: "We'll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style." Oh, God.

So, he's one of those. And by "those" I mean "morons". I know the NFL is trying to be more vigilant with following up with players with concussions. Perhaps they might want to start with this guy. Give him a good and thorough CAT scan. Maybe an MRI just to be on the safe side. Oh, and show him some footage of September 11, 2001. That might help him understand how a plane could take a skyscraper down. Demolition style.

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Too Soon? Apparently.

You know the Aflac duck? That cute little spokesbird for (duh!) Alfac that everyone thought was so cute when he yelled "Aflac!" that they decided to stop using him as much? Yeah, that duck. Well, as it turns out, that's really not a talking duck. No, see they were only pretending to have the duck talk and the voice that we heard was really that of professional obnoxious person Gilbert Gottfried. But now, the duck has gone quiet as Mr. Gottfried has been fired due to making "offensive" tweets about the current situation in Japan.

When do you think people are going to learn that there is a certain amount of time that one must wait after a disaster or mishap before it will be "okay" to mock it? I'm guessing never, as this sort of thing seems to happen whenever tragedy strikes. You know when people make a joke and follow it up with "Too soon?" There's a reason for that! Sometimes, it's just too effing soon. And I guess that it was too soon for Mr. Gottfried's jokes. Speaking of the jokes, let's take a look at what it takes to get one fired as the voice of a duck these days.

Our friends at BuzzFeed compiled the ten "most offensive" tweets before they were removed from Mr. Gottfried's Twitter feed. (Why do people even bother removing stuff that they regret putting online? Don't they know that the Internet never forgets? Nothing is ever erased from the Internet. It's there forever. There's no point. Just embrace it and your ill-advised tom foolery and move on.) I don't know if they're in any particular order and even if they were, I don't know if Number One or Number Ten would be the most offensive. But those are good places to start. Listed at Number One:

Yeah, that's not good. It's also not funny. Not even close to funny. Maybe Number Ten will be better. Let's find out...

Again, not funny. It's barely sophomoric humor. And I realize that it's in poor taste, but are these really enough for someone to get fired over? After all, he is a comedian. (Granted, I've never found him overly amusing, but that doesn't change what he does.) What else? Oh, how about Number Three.

OK, that's not bad. That's kind of funny. I'm not trying to be offensive (because I rarely try), it's just kind of funny. It would be funnier if there hadn't been a horrifying disaster just a couple of days ago. I'll agree with that. But that's the funniest one out of the bunch. Most of them are like this one:

See? That's not only stupid, it's just not funny. And BuzzFeed only has the ten worst tweets that he did. How many were there total? Why did he feel the need to make lame tweet after lame tweet after lame tweet? I don't know, but now he's reaping what he hath twat, as Aflac wasted no time in firing the man. And while I think he could have used better judgment, I don't know that he deserved to be fired for what he twat. He's the voice of a duck. The duck only says one word: Aflac. Good work if you can get it, I suppose. But how many people even know that he's the voice of the duck? How many people even saw the tweets? I'm guessing that the people in Japan have other things to worry about at the moment other than the 140 character random thoughts of Gilbert Gottfried.

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Charlie Sheen At The Oscars

I know, I know. You're expecting a fashion filled extravaganza which reflects last night's Academy Awards ceremony, aren't you? (Don't get me wrong. I see no reason to not include pictures of the astonishingly lovely Sandra Bullock in this post. Different doesn't have to mean crazy or short-sighted!) Well, you would have gotten it if it hadn't been for my cousin who suggested that I pay attention to a little Twitter fad that took off during the Super Bowl. It seems as if someone had started a hashtag on Twitter called JaneAustenAtTheSuperBowl. And it was just what it sounds like. It was Jane Austen musings as if she were at the Super Bowl. (By the way, just so I'm not too hip for the room, a hashtag is this symbol: #. It designates a specific topic on Twitter. And also, just so I'm clear, Twitter is pretty useless most of the time. My participating in this nonsense should not be interpreted as any sort of indication that I think Twitter is cool. I don't.)

Thus, with that sort of seed planted in my often empty noggin, I thought that the Oscars would need a voice. Maybe not a Jane Austen sort of voice, as a friend of mine was completely appalled that anyone would disgrace the works of Jane Austen (she's really into bonnet movies and bonnet books), but a voice none the less. Then it hit me. Or I fell down because I was drunk. Whichever it was, I had a revelation. What the Oscars needed was more Charlie Sheen. Thus, I created the hashtag #CharlieSheenAtTheOscars and twat periodically throughout the telecast which I occasionally watched. What? Twat is the past tense of tweet, right? I will tweet. I am tweeting. I have twat. Sounds right to me.

And don't think that I ever expected anyone to notice this little method of amusing myself. I didn't. And I think I succeeded by setting my expectations as low as I usually do for things like this. So, since I know you missed it, allow me to take you through the Academy Awards show as seen through the tweets of a very real, yet very fictional Charlie Sheen. Behold!

• At Kodak Theater. Walk w/me side by side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• Roll out that red carpet if you want, but I'm rolling out magic bro and I must save it for my family. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• No one has acknowledged me yet. I should have been walking in to sandwiches, massages and hand jobs. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• No one has even said hello. I feel like an unwelcome relative given cold coffee every night at nine o’clock.#Charliesheenattheoscars


• Showtime! Find the most comfortable seat in the house, lean back and watch—it’s about to get really gnarly. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• Can't believe they didn't ask me to host. These two suck. I've got poetry in my fingertips.
  #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• Screw hosting because that’s where you get slaughtered. That’s where you get embarrassed. From the prom queen. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• My tux is uncomfortable. It doesn't fit because my chest and my biceps are too big. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• I have effortlessly and magically converted your tin can into pure gold statuettes. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• First award of the night handed out. Winning! #Charliesheenattheoscars


• The first statuette is free. The next one goes in your mouth. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• No one at my table has won anything. I'm dealing with fools and trolls here. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• To all the losers: I have real fame, you have nothing. You have zero. I probably have syphilis. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• I don't care who wins. I will forget about them as the last image of them exits this beautiful theater. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• There's Natalie Portman. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• I am special, and I will never be one of you! I will never have an Oscar. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• If they want me in a sequel, it's a smash. If they don't, it's a turd that opens on a tugboat. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• No one looks happy. Is the rule that we have to all sit in here and touch ourselves and frown? #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• #Thekidsareallright I don't subscribe to any part of the model. They brainwashed my friends and my family. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• Christian Bale freaking won?? Sorry man. Didn't make the rules. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• Jesse Eisenberg looks confused. Oh wait, can’t process it. Losers. Winning. Buh bye #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• I could get nominated one day. There are parts of me that are Dennis Hopper. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• I'm not Mark Zuckerberg. He was a pussy. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordinance to the ground. #Charliesheenattheoscars


• Almost three hours of this so far. The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• I liked #TrueGrit. There's a new sheriff in town and he has an army of assassins. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom! That’s the whole movie. #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• Melissa Leo. Winning! #Charliesheenattheoscars
  
  
• Toy Story 3. Winning! #Charliesheenattheoscars

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LeBron James Whines Again

Apparently, Tuesday was "Hater Day" as declared by a one LeBron James. Dang it! And I missed it! Dang it! I miss everything! Wait. What was it? Well, from what I can tell, it was one more time that LeBron felt the need to whine about things. Aw, poor LeBron. Always getting his widdle feewings hurt.

According to The Huffington Post, James "...declared on Tuesday via twitter that the day was "Hater Day" and shared racists tweets that were directed at him." Let's just remember that LeBron has come to the conclusion that the reason that people are unhappy with him for the way that he made his exit out of Cleveland (via a huge one hour production, complete with dog AND pony, on ESPN for an hour) is because folks are racist. That's right. If you're black and you act like an ass and other folks don't like it, it's not just because you're an ass that people don't like. It's the fact that you're black that people don't like. This, of course, is according to LeBron after he was done acting like an ass.

I guess his official tweet to kick of "Hater Day" (he could not have come up with a more ridiculous name for a more ridiculous concept) said "Today is Hater Day. Everyone please let them get their 2 mins of fame and light! I Love You Haters. Continue to make me proud of u guys! LOL". Now, I'm not sure why you'd WANT to give anyone who is a jackass their 2 minutes of fame and light (when did we start throwing light into it?), but LeBron apparently did. And his reasoning, as he explained to ESPN was "I just want you guys to see it also. To see what type of words that are said toward me and towards us as professional athletes. Everybody thinks it is a bed of roses and it's not." To which I say "Wah." Tell you what, LeBron. You give me the position that you have and the money that you make and we'll see how I do with what people say. We all know I would do horrible in the NBA, so I can imagine that some of the derision directed at me would have something to do with that, but for the salary that you're raking it, I think that I could suck it up pretty darn well. I certainly think that I wouldn't have to go crying all over Twitter, for cryin' out loud.

Let's see some of the things that have Mr. James sooooo upset. One tweet said: "hey good game last night, too bad you're a fraud, BITCH". Hmm. Quite honestly, I'm just impressed that the bloke who wrote that knew to use you're instead of your. That would make me pretty happy to receive a grammatically correct tweet and not some POS filled with 4 and 2 and U.

Another tweet read that James is "a big nosed big lipped bug eyed (racial slur). Ur greedy, u try to hide ur ghettoness." OK, the racial slur is always out of line. That's never necessary. But seriously? Does the rest really bother him? He does know that not everyone in the world thinks that he's the greatest thing since sliced bread, right? Actually, I'm beginning to believe that he does not know that. Otherwise, why would he be reacting this way to tweets from anonymous douchebags on the Internet? I don't get it.

One literary genius tweeted to him: "why don't u speak by laying ur head under a moving car". Yeah, that makes no sense, moron. Putting your head under a moving car is far from a substitute for speech. On top of that, how is he supposed to get his head underneath there in the first place if the car is already moving? That suggestion contains nothing more than faulty engineering is what that contains.

I guess "Hater Day" (still hate that name) came to a close with this parting message from the founder of said ridiculous day: "U see world how people feel! Just use it as extra motivation in whatever u do best! No one can stop your dreams from becoming reality!" What the heck does that even mean? "U see world how people feel!"? Yes. Yes, I do see how they feel. Some people really do not like you at all. Some folks want you to do physically impossible things with your head in lieu of actually speaking. I see that. But I don't know that that was your original point. I only wish that he had taken his own advice and used it as extra motivation in what he does best instead of whining about how some people don't like him on Twitter.

I can't believe that this stuff really bothers him. It's on Twitter, for cryin' out loud! It's not like it's his mother who is telling him all of this stuff. These are faceless, anonymous cowards on the freaking Internet. And it bothers him? I don't get it. Do you know how many times I've been called an idiot because of something I've wrote on this blog? Let's just say that it is plenty. And each time, it does nothing more than amuse the hell out of me. I don't know these people and I don't know that I want to know them if they're actually calling me an idiot. Ideas can be exchanged without name calling. That's why when it happens, I really don't give it a second thought (though I do walk around for the remainder of the day feeling quite proud, as if I've accomplished something by annoying a stranger somewhere in the world). I wonder why LeBron can't do the same thing? Maybe all of his concern over what people think of him was what was getting in the way of him winning a championship.

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