You know, the most effective way to complete your high school course work and earn decent grades is to a) study, and b) to actually do the course work. Using some sort of entymological ingestion procedure as a way of getting an 'A' on your Algebra II test is probably not a really good way to go about things.Dateline: El Dorado Hills, California. Sub-dateline: Oak Ridge High 
School, Algebra II class, test day. From CBS-13 KOVR News, the story plays out as follows. The Algebra II teacher killed a fly in class with his hands and then dared any of his students to eat the dead fly, allegedly enticing them by saying, "If anybody eats this fly then I will give them an A on this test." Go on. Guess what happened next. Guess! You got it. Some paste eater ate it. (Maybe he was branching out.) Now guess what happened after that! Go on. Guess! That's right. No A.
School, Algebra II class, test day. From CBS-13 KOVR News, the story plays out as follows. The Algebra II teacher killed a fly in class with his hands and then dared any of his students to eat the dead fly, allegedly enticing them by saying, "If anybody eats this fly then I will give them an A on this test." Go on. Guess what happened next. Guess! You got it. Some paste eater ate it. (Maybe he was branching out.) Now guess what happened after that! Go on. Guess! That's right. No A.
Steven Zeldag is the lad in question and judging from his score on his Algebra II test, he's not just dumb, he's fly-eatin' dumb. The lad scored 9 out of 46. That's just a hair under twenty percent correct. He claims that his teacher said that "...I told you I'd give you an A on your test, so here's your A, but it's not going in the gradebook." "The teacher even wrote, "Here is your A on your test," when he returned the paper to the student." Behold!
The story continues by explaining Steven's revelation, saying that "...he realized what he thought was a deal was really just a joke at his expense." Dun-dun-DUNNNNNNNN!! Ya think? What a moron. "I didn't think he was joking at all," said the fly eater.
You know, I should probably take that back. The moron part, that is. The kid might really be a good kid. Maybe he's good with his hands. (Well, if he's not, he'd better get good with his hands, because I don't know how well that book learnin' is going to be turning out for him.) But judging from his ability to discern whether or not a teacher is jerking you around by saying "I'll give anyone an A who eats this fly", I don't know that he was ever going to pass that Algebra II test in the first place.See, he seems to have overlooked a real key piece to this ord
eal. Son, your math teacher can't give you a grade that is contingent upon your ingesting any insects. Hell, or mammal for that matter. Insect. Mammal. Egg layer. Unless you are enrolled in a course that specifically requires the ingesting of animals, eating any sort of animal isn't going to help you. If you gobble down a field mouse, you're not going to get an A on your biology exam. If you consume an entire raccoon, it's not going to get you an A on your term paper. That's not the way that it works...at all!
eal. Son, your math teacher can't give you a grade that is contingent upon your ingesting any insects. Hell, or mammal for that matter. Insect. Mammal. Egg layer. Unless you are enrolled in a course that specifically requires the ingesting of animals, eating any sort of animal isn't going to help you. If you gobble down a field mouse, you're not going to get an A on your biology exam. If you consume an entire raccoon, it's not going to get you an A on your term paper. That's not the way that it works...at all! 
Mind you, this is an algebra class. Algebra consists of solving for the unknown. There are not a lot of unknowns in this story. There's an awful lot of "known"s though. The way that scholastic achievement grades are doled out. The general area of the kid's overall IQ. Things like that. Things like your future if you keep thinking that the eating of a freshly squashed insect is going to propel you to the top of the class. Your future won't be unknown. Your future will be dim. Your future will be counting change out for people. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But when you're a high school student, don't you want something more than that to look forward to? My point.Those are the knowns. Here are a few of the unknowns:
One: The article said that this fly-for-grades debacle took place last month. What does that mean? Today is the 4th of November, so "last month" could have been just last week, but we don't know that. I have no idea why that wasn't clarified. (I take that back. I have some idea. It's called "The media is crap".) Two: When the principal was contacted to comment on this story, he said that "...it was the first time he heard abo
ut it." OK. Since the principal hadn't heard about it that means that neither the boy, nor the teacher went to him. I'm guessing that, out of the two of them, the only one that I would foresee going to the media with it would be the boy. Now, that makes little to no sense to me because "Stephen said he was afraid to tell his principal because his teacher would punish him." Um, so you go to Channel 13? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Oh, wait. This is the same kid who ate the fly, right? Never mind. It all makes perfect sense.
ut it." OK. Since the principal hadn't heard about it that means that neither the boy, nor the teacher went to him. I'm guessing that, out of the two of them, the only one that I would foresee going to the media with it would be the boy. Now, that makes little to no sense to me because "Stephen said he was afraid to tell his principal because his teacher would punish him." Um, so you go to Channel 13? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Oh, wait. This is the same kid who ate the fly, right? Never mind. It all makes perfect sense.Three: I don't think the kid is being totally honest about why he didn't study fo
r the test. He made it sound like the deal was made (an A for a fly snack) in advance of the test being given and because he was under his self inflicted delusion that he would be getting an A, he didn't study. I'm thinking it was more like he didn't study and saw the chance to weasel out of possibly (likely) getting a bad grade and when the fly opportunity buzzed in (pun totally intended) and presented itself, he took it. No way he ate the fly a week in advance or something and just didn't bother to study for the test because he had a tummy chock full o'fly. No way. I'm not buyin' it. But from the news report, it's hard to tell. That's right, because the media sucks. How'd you guess?
r the test. He made it sound like the deal was made (an A for a fly snack) in advance of the test being given and because he was under his self inflicted delusion that he would be getting an A, he didn't study. I'm thinking it was more like he didn't study and saw the chance to weasel out of possibly (likely) getting a bad grade and when the fly opportunity buzzed in (pun totally intended) and presented itself, he took it. No way he ate the fly a week in advance or something and just didn't bother to study for the test because he had a tummy chock full o'fly. No way. I'm not buyin' it. But from the news report, it's hard to tell. That's right, because the media sucks. How'd you guess?We're so doomed. Let me just tell you, if I had pulled this stunt in high school, it would not have ended up on the news. If I was dumb enough to eat the fly and expect an A and then I was dumb enough to tell m
y family about it, I probably would have been slapped upside the head by one or both parents before they laughed me out of the house for being such a moron. Oh, and if I even thought about bringing up the subject of "Hey, so, the local news wants to do a story on me being an idiot and eating a bug", do you know what would have happened then? It would have been loud, I'll tell you that! I'm guessing something to the effect of my needing to think about how important the roof over my head and the food in my stomach and the clothes on my back actually were to me because if they weren't that important, I'd be doing that story on the news and my parents would have stopped providing all of those things to me. No WAY would they let that happen. THEY don't want to be known far and wide as the two people that raised the fly-eating, test-failing dumbass. But now? Sure! Go on the news! Tell everyone how dumb you are. Enjoy! Oh, and when you come around to cut my grass, don't cut it too short, all right? Thanks.
y family about it, I probably would have been slapped upside the head by one or both parents before they laughed me out of the house for being such a moron. Oh, and if I even thought about bringing up the subject of "Hey, so, the local news wants to do a story on me being an idiot and eating a bug", do you know what would have happened then? It would have been loud, I'll tell you that! I'm guessing something to the effect of my needing to think about how important the roof over my head and the food in my stomach and the clothes on my back actually were to me because if they weren't that important, I'd be doing that story on the news and my parents would have stopped providing all of those things to me. No WAY would they let that happen. THEY don't want to be known far and wide as the two people that raised the fly-eating, test-failing dumbass. But now? Sure! Go on the news! Tell everyone how dumb you are. Enjoy! Oh, and when you come around to cut my grass, don't cut it too short, all right? Thanks.
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