He Did What?

You know what is an important thing to learn early on in life? Taking responsibility. Yes, it really sucks when you get caught doing something that you weren't supposed to be doing in the first place, but it's important that you learn how to admit that you were in the wrong and then accept the consequences that come your way as a result. See, because if Wayne Mitchell had taken that advice he probably wouldn't have tried to help his brother try to get out of being caught with a bunch of cocaine. And if he had done that, well, it's almost certain that he wouldn't have ate the cocaine that was in his brother's arse at the time. (Yes, you read that correctly.) And if he hadn't eaten the ass-coke, he would probably be alive today. I'm just saying.

Here's the story according to something called Click Orlando. It seems that Deangelo Mitchell and his brother, 20-year-old Wayne Mitchell, were "...taken into custody on allegations they had drugs in their car." (And trust me when I tell you that everyone reading this is going to wish that they did have their drugs in the car instead of where they actually were.) Now, I don't know where they were when "the incident" took place, but the picture accompanying the story seems to imply that they were in the back of the police car. I could be wrong though. However, if you were hoping to put together a good visual to go along with this nuttiness, go with the back of the police car. It looked like this. Behold!

So that's one of them. I can't say that he looks real bright. Maybe I'm wrong, though. Maybe he's a genius. (I'm not wrong and you know it. He's not exactly Rainman.) The point here is that when they were arrested, Deangelo had a butt full of drugs. Literally. There were drugs in his butt. Maybe his pockets were full. I don't really know. But Deangelo knew. He knew of the drugs that had been inserted into his rectum. And he knew that the cops would eventually find them as well. That's when his mission became clear. He needed to remove the drugs from his butt. But how?

Funny you should ask. Deangelo decided to ask his brother for a favor. That favor was for Wayne to apparently remove the cocaine from Deangelo's rectal cavity by using his teeth/mouth. Bluntly put, he wanted him to eat it out of there. Now, before you go off all thinking that was a crazy thing one to do, just remember that Wayne agreed to it. Who's the crazy one now, huh? And before you go thinking for sure that it's Wayne, just let me first tell you that he DID get the cocaine out of Deangelo's butt. So, it's not like he agreed to anything that he couldn't follow through with. (I really have no idea what I'm saying here. I find this entire story so disgusting and unbelievable that I'm kind of at a loss for words and I'm really trying to wing it here without flipping out.)

But it turns out that swallowing an entire ounce of cocaine can kill you. Who knew? Well, I'm assuming that Wayne didn't know. Considering that he's now dead, I'm guessing that he has some idea about that now. That's right. It killed him. According to North Charleston Police Chief Jon Zumalt "It's sickening." Hard to disagree with that. He also added, "I got upset when I saw the whole thing. I was pretty shocked on it." Wait. When you...saw the whole thing?! Did this guy used to work at Penn State or something?! How does one see the whole thing and not maybe intervene before the whole thing is over?! How does someone see the whole thing and not make it so that it isn't a whole entire thing?! What is going on over there in North Charleston anyway?! Whatever it is, make it STOP! This is NOT the kind of thing that we can have going on all the time! Just having it go on ONCE is bad enough. Good Lord, what in the world is wrong with people?!

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