He Did What?

You know what is an important thing to learn early on in life? Taking responsibility. Yes, it really sucks when you get caught doing something that you weren't supposed to be doing in the first place, but it's important that you learn how to admit that you were in the wrong and then accept the consequences that come your way as a result. See, because if Wayne Mitchell had taken that advice he probably wouldn't have tried to help his brother try to get out of being caught with a bunch of cocaine. And if he had done that, well, it's almost certain that he wouldn't have ate the cocaine that was in his brother's arse at the time. (Yes, you read that correctly.) And if he hadn't eaten the ass-coke, he would probably be alive today. I'm just saying.

Here's the story according to something called Click Orlando. It seems that Deangelo Mitchell and his brother, 20-year-old Wayne Mitchell, were "...taken into custody on allegations they had drugs in their car." (And trust me when I tell you that everyone reading this is going to wish that they did have their drugs in the car instead of where they actually were.) Now, I don't know where they were when "the incident" took place, but the picture accompanying the story seems to imply that they were in the back of the police car. I could be wrong though. However, if you were hoping to put together a good visual to go along with this nuttiness, go with the back of the police car. It looked like this. Behold!

So that's one of them. I can't say that he looks real bright. Maybe I'm wrong, though. Maybe he's a genius. (I'm not wrong and you know it. He's not exactly Rainman.) The point here is that when they were arrested, Deangelo had a butt full of drugs. Literally. There were drugs in his butt. Maybe his pockets were full. I don't really know. But Deangelo knew. He knew of the drugs that had been inserted into his rectum. And he knew that the cops would eventually find them as well. That's when his mission became clear. He needed to remove the drugs from his butt. But how?

Funny you should ask. Deangelo decided to ask his brother for a favor. That favor was for Wayne to apparently remove the cocaine from Deangelo's rectal cavity by using his teeth/mouth. Bluntly put, he wanted him to eat it out of there. Now, before you go off all thinking that was a crazy thing one to do, just remember that Wayne agreed to it. Who's the crazy one now, huh? And before you go thinking for sure that it's Wayne, just let me first tell you that he DID get the cocaine out of Deangelo's butt. So, it's not like he agreed to anything that he couldn't follow through with. (I really have no idea what I'm saying here. I find this entire story so disgusting and unbelievable that I'm kind of at a loss for words and I'm really trying to wing it here without flipping out.)

But it turns out that swallowing an entire ounce of cocaine can kill you. Who knew? Well, I'm assuming that Wayne didn't know. Considering that he's now dead, I'm guessing that he has some idea about that now. That's right. It killed him. According to North Charleston Police Chief Jon Zumalt "It's sickening." Hard to disagree with that. He also added, "I got upset when I saw the whole thing. I was pretty shocked on it." Wait. When you...saw the whole thing?! Did this guy used to work at Penn State or something?! How does one see the whole thing and not maybe intervene before the whole thing is over?! How does someone see the whole thing and not make it so that it isn't a whole entire thing?! What is going on over there in North Charleston anyway?! Whatever it is, make it STOP! This is NOT the kind of thing that we can have going on all the time! Just having it go on ONCE is bad enough. Good Lord, what in the world is wrong with people?!

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Joe Must Go

(Note: Joe Paterno was fired after I wrote this. Good.)

I'm going to try to make this my last post about the Penn State child abuse cover up atrocity for a little while. We'll see. But I felt it necessary to continue to rip into Joe Paterno for his inexcusable and unforgivable lack of action when he knew that one of his assistant coaches was raping little boys.


You would think that Joe Paterno would be asked to step down immediately. And if he wouldn't step down, you would think that someone would fire Joe Paterno. That doesn't seem to be the case. Joe Paterno thinks that the best course to take right now is for him to continue coaching and then to retire at the end of the season. Seriously. And by the way, someone should mention that he was likely going to retire at the end of this season anyway! He wanted to stick around long enough to become the winningest coach in major college football. He did that by when he got his 409th win in the most recent game. Him retiring at the end of the year isn't any sort of penalty! It's just like it would have been had he not been shielding a child rapist. That's not enough. He needs to not be on the sidelines on Saturday or ever again.


Let's take a look at his absolutely pathetic statement. He said, in part: "That's why I have decided to announce my retirement effective at the end of this season. At this moment the Board of Trustees should not spend a single minute discussing my status. They have far more important matters to address. I want to make this as easy for them as I possibly can. This is a tragedy. It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more." Oh, I bet that he doesn't want the Board of Trustees spending any time discussing his status. Who in the hell is he to say that at this point?! If he wanted to make this "as easy for them as I possibly can" then he would have resigned immediately so that they wouldn't have to spend any time on it! (I'm not even going to discuss the part about how it took "hindsight" for him to realize that not going to authorities about a guy who was raping children was a bad idea. Hindsight. Jesus.) This guy is unbelievable.


As far as Penn State goes, they think that the appropriate course of action is to wait until Friday to appoint a committee to look into what in the hell went on. Friday?! They're going to wait until Friday?! They don't think that this is something that maybe should be started immediately?! Sure! Wait until Friday! What in the hell is WRONG with the people over there at Penn State?! Considering that Joe Paterno seems to think that he should be out there coaching on Saturday, I'm thinking that the Board might want to convene a little bit before Saturday. Are they REALLY going to let him coach? They can't, can they? How? How?!


OK, I think that's it for now. Oh, wait. One more thing. Hey, Joe Paterno. Do you have grandkids? What if your associate had seen Sandusky in the shower with one of them? THEN would you have done something? ANYTHING? It's sad that I this question would even have to be asked. It's even sadder that I honestly don't know what his answer would be.

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So Many People Just Don't Get It

(Scroll over the images in this post to see who's who.) Wow. People are really, seriously delusional about this sex abuse horror that involved the defensive coordinator of Penn State football. That so many people did absolutely nothing is astounding to me. But what is even more astounding is the number of people who don't seem to think that anyone did anything wrong. Well, except for the child rapist. Ahem, alleged child rapist. I'm going to assume that people are not defending him. Then again, I can't believe that people are supporting the people who did nothing, so who knows? Maybe they are on the side of a man who sets up a charity for troubled boys so that he can have easy access to fondle and rape them. Maybe.

See, it seems to be pretty well documented that this Jerry Sandusky pervert was well known in his little Penn State football circle for sexing up little boys. And what did these people who were in the know do? Well, some of them did nothing. Some told the college. And some had meetings about it and told him, essentially, "don't do that". NO ONE called the cops. And that's a fact that I find simply astonishing. How could you not call the cops? How could you not alert authorities of one form or another if you had this sort of information? I, personally, don't see how you couldn't. But a whole lot of people who worked with Penn State football seem to have a different opinion on the matter. Seeing as how they actually did do nothing, I'd say that they have a very different opinion of what should happen in instances like these.

And the beloved football coach, the ancient Joe Paterno, was one of those people who did nothing. See, when a one Mike McQueary (who was a graduate assistant at the time, but who is now the receivers coach) saw the sicko Sandusky sodomizing a 10-year-old boy in a shower at the team's football complex, all he did was tell Paterno. Of course, he waited until the next day. Because there's nothing all that pressing or urgent about child rape. Right. Anyway, what did old man Paterno do? Go to the cops? Go to the DA? Of course not! No, he decided he should notify the athletic director, a one Tim Curley, and then the vice president, a one Gary Schultz. Neither one of them felt it necessary to go to authorities either.

Now, if you think that I'm being too hard on Paterno, let me clarify my stance. I don't just want him gone. I want every single person who had even a whiff that this was going on to be fired. Every one. Every one who did nothing needs to go on their way. Doesn't that make sense? Well, to about 300 Penn State students who were outside of Paterno's house last night, it doesn't. They would think that's just crazy. That's why they went to Paterno's house to support him.
According to the Collegian Online, "Nearly 300 students gathered outside Joe Paterno's house" in support of a man who does nothing when he knows that one of his colleagues is raping little boys. And you're not going to believe what he said. (Who am I kidding? At this point, would anything that he does or says surprise you? Naaahhh.) He said, "The kids who were victims, whatever they want to say, I think we need to say a prayer for them...It's a tough life when people do certain things to you." Oh, for cryin' out loud! Are you freaking kidding me?!
First of all, the "whatever they want to say" part disgusts me. I'm pretty sure that I'd call someone who was raped when they were ten years old a victim. Whatever they want to say?! What a joke. And he thinks that they should say a prayer for them?! How is THAT going to help?! Hey, Joe! Were you praying for them when you did nothing?! How about instead of praying you actually get off of your ass and do the morally right thing for once. And while it IS "a tough life when people do certain things to you", it is an even tougher life when other people know what is being done to you and they DO NOTHING! I cannot believe this man. Is he senile? Probably. But it gets even worse.

That's right. After his completely clueless little speech there, do you know what he did? According to Fox News "Paterno held his fists over his head three times and said, "We are ..."And the crowd replied, "Penn State!" Oh. My. God. Is that all it's about with those people? JUST football? I don't get it. THAT'S his reaction?? We are Penn State? I'm sure that all of the victims (and there are plenty) are going to be really comforted to know that, as a football college, y'all are right there with each other! Where's the rally outside of the victims houses? Where's the rally of support for those who were actually harmed by all of these do-nothing a-holes? Oh, there wasn't one? Shocking. You know why there wasn't one? Because those people that were in that crowd are paste eating, mouth breathing morons, that's why.
The New York Times has the grand jury report if you'd like to read it. Be forewarned, though. It's rough. But when you get done, if you still think that it was perfectly OK for Joe Paterno and everyone else who knew about this to do nothing then you will know that there is something wrong with you.

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Can't She Do That Later?

Look, I'm a big fan of good personal hygiene. Big fan! You know what I'm an even bigger fan of? Privacy, that is correct. Put those two together and you have really got something going for yourself. But if you try to do one of those without the other, do you know what you have? Problems. See, if you make sure you have privacy but you forget about the personal hygiene, then you're all by yourself, but you're smelly. That's not good for you. But what's even worse is if you decide to take care of the personal hygiene, but you do not have the privacy. And by "taking care of personal hygiene" I mean washing your privates with a jug of water. Oh, and by "you do not have the privacy" I mean that you're on a subway train. That's right. What we have here is a woman on a subway train sans pants and washing herself with the aforementioned jug of water. There are so many degrees of wrong to this that I pretty much don't know where to start. Maybe you'll know after you watch it. (And by the way, I realize that this video says that it is Part 1 of 3. I don't find that parts 2 and 3 are really necessary. It can only get worse, don't you think?) If the video below doesn't load, please click here.

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What's Cookin' On Labor Day?

It's Labor Day and that means picnics and barbecues if you're into that sort of thing. And if you're not into that sort of thing, then it simply means that it's Monday. But as I thought of all of the great grub that can be had at your typical American Labor Day feast, it made me really glad that I don't live in other countries where the grub isn't what I would call quite so great. I'm sure these countries are fine places to visit, but I can't that I'd want to live there with some of these items on the menus.

Take Peru, for example. Every year, they hold a festival dedicated to the guinea pig. And when I say "dedicated", I mean dedicated. Dedicated as in that's what they're cooking and serving up. Behold!

It's called cuy. Pronounce that however you'd like whilst you're trying not to gag. Maybe I would find it to be a little more appetizing if it wasn't just dumped in the fryer all whole like that. I don't want my food to have a face that can look at me. Ever. Nor do I want my food to have a discernible tail. Behold!

Served at a wild game restaurant in Guangzhou, China, those would be cooked field rats. I have no idea what the sauce or the outer coating on them is or is supposed to be. I am curious as to what purpose the tail serves. Is it like a built in stick, so you can eat 'em like a state fair food? I don't get it. Nor do I want it. Other things I don't want on or in my food? One of those things would be more than two legs. Behold!

Those would be deep fried spiders being sold in Vietnam. According to The Daily Telegraph, "... The fist-sized arachnids are crunchy on the outside and taste like cold, gooey chicken on the inside." An excellent description, though I'm not sure that I know what cold, gooey chicken tastes like, nor do I know why I would want to. They are 10 for two dollars which is quite a bargain. Still seems a little bit steep for me, however. Then again, any price to eat a deep fried spider seems like it would be too much for me. And it also seems like it would be a steep price for me to pay for anything this grotesque that is packaged in a can. Say, like these silkworm pupae that come in a can in Korea. Behold!

OK, see, I was going to say something about the "foods" before this one that alluded to there possibly not being a lot to eat in those countries and so they make do on what they have. But this kind of kills that theory. You would have to go out of your way to have this. It's not like you could just find the critters out in the barn like you could those field mice. (OK, fine. Out in the field. You knew what I meant!) That's just gross. Even with the sparkly toothpicks, they're just gross. You know what else is gross that sparkly toothpicks likely wouldn't help to be more palatable? Fish mouths! Wait. Yes, you heard me. Fish mouths. Behold!

What kind of fish have teeth like those?! No fish that I am aware of! Certainly not anything that is fit for consumption. Do you eat those little teeth things as well? I guess if you're at the point where you're already eating fish mouths, a few teeth aren't going to bother you much. I guess it would kind of be like if you were eating a cookie full of wasps, their little wings wouldn't bother you much either. Behold!

That would be what is called a digger wasp rice cracker. It is also called Jibachi Senbei. Neither terminology is going to make it look any better to me. Apparently, how this atrocity came to be was when "A Japanese fan club for wasps has added the insects to rice crackers, saying the result adds a delicious scent to the traditional fare." I don't want bugs in my food simply for a "delicious scent". No, thanks. And who has a fan club where the thing that you're a fan of becomes your lunch? If it was a Hello Kitty fan club, would they have kitten cookies with real kittens? It frightens me to think of what the answer to that might actually be.

And finally, just for something completely whack-a-do that really makes me glad that any chicken I might consume on Labor Day will be prepared on a grill and not in the fashion in which a restaurant in China prepares their chickens. That is, the fashion in which they kill the chicken involves having a snake bite its neck. Behold!

Oh, what the hell is that? It's just like what it looks like it is. It's a snake biting the neck of a chicken so that the chicken can be served in a dish called (wait for it) Snake-bit Chicken. Catchy, no? No. Now, I don't know if this is prominent all over China, but it was the specialty fare for at least one restaurant last year. The restaurant "...defended the controversial practice...saying the resulting dish was healthy and kept the customers flooding in". How is that healthy? Couldn't a chicken that did NOT have to be bitten by a snake be just as healthy? I'm thinking it might be MORE healthy to have it done that way. You know, without all of the snake and without all of the biting. You know what else I think? I think I'm going to be very thankful for whatever is being grilled around here for Labor Day.

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