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Monday, August 1, 2011

But It's A Belt

My birthday is tomorrow, so I'm pretty much just phoning this in. (And if I still had dial-up, I'd always be phoning it in. But that just goes to show how old I am. Great. I've resorted to elderly humor. Kill me.) I just wanted to reiterate how much I do not get fashion. Mostly fashion shows, but some fashion. Why can't people just wear things the way that they're supposed to be worn? Why does everything have to be upside down or backwards or falling off your ass for it to be fashionable? And what's with hats that don't really fit on your head? Why have it if it doesn't do anything like keep the sun out of your eyes? But mostly I'm upset with fashion. Take, for example, some of the stuff over in the G-Star Raw catalog featuring accessories for men. You tell me what's going on there. Behold!


See, and I'm not new to the concept of a belt. I AM a little unaware of the concept of wearing a belt draped over your head. Why is that like that? Why isn't it prominently displayed around his waist? That is still where the belt is traditionally worn, correct? The waist? Now I'm afraid that I'm going to have to see a bunch of mouth breathing paste-eaters walking around with their belt on their head like that. I already start to twitch when I see people wearing their hats sideways. I'll go into a full fledged seizure if I have to actually encounter Belt Head in the wild.

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