I don't have any children of my own that I know of. And I'm a chick, so I think it's pretty much a given that there aren't any. But if I were to even remotely ponder birthing another human being (in a process that seems to be akin to shoving a pot roast out of one's nostril), it would be for utilitarian purposes. You know, a little extra manual labor around my walled off compound. Someone to load the catapults, keep the alligators fed, oil the drawbridge pulleys, maintain an appropriate amount of water in the moat. Stuff like that. Those gators aren't going to feed themselves. Wait. Yeah, they are. Scratch that. But the other stuff? That's what you have kids for. It's either for manual labor or for teaching them awesome things to do when they're super little. Take the little guy in the video below. His parents are clearly Star Wars nerds. And they also seem to have a pretty strong grasp on the noises that various animals make. The doggie. The kitty. The monkey. Admiral Ackbar. Wait. Admiral Ackbar? Correct. I said that they were Star wars nerds. And if you're going to like Star Wars and you're going to have kids, you had better teach your kids who says what. And Admiral Ackbar realizes that it's a trap. And these two did one heck of a job with their...son? Son. They did one heck of a job with their son. Behold!
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