Let's hope for something more newsworthy tomorrow.
I don't have any children of my own that I know of. And I'm a chick, so I think it's pretty much a given that there aren't any. But if I were to even remotely ponder birthing another human being (in a process that seems to be akin to shoving a pot roast out of one's nostril), it would be for utilitarian purposes. You know, a little extra manual labor around my walled off compound. Someone to load the catapults, keep the alligators fed, oil the drawbridge pulleys, maintain an appropriate amount of water in the moat. Stuff like that. Those gators aren't going to feed themselves. Wait. Yeah, they are. Scratch that. But the other stuff? That's what you have kids for. 
was not along the same lines as my own thinking. Shocking, I know. See, "He is said to have called her Facebook because he was so happy with the role played by the site in organising protests in Tahrir Square and other cities throughout Egypt." OK, then. Couldn't he have commemorated the events by naming her Tahrir? That's kind of a cool name, actually. I wouldn't mind being named Tahrir and then being able to tell people about why I was named that. I would absolutely mind being named Facebook and then having everyone look at me funny when they first heard my name. Hey, wait a minute! Why is the father the only one who I am hearing about being the one to name her? Wasn't there a woman attached to the uterus that this child popped out of? Doesn't she have a say in any of this? What's that? Oh. Right. They're not quite like that. Dictator or not. Bummer. Sorry, little Facebook.
Today's senseless baby death comes from (of course) Flori-duh and involves a *rolls dice* woman who was *rolls dice* angry that her baby was crying while *rolls dice* she was playing Farmville on Facebook and so she *rolls dice* shook him to death. Dislike. 
year old (and old enough to know better) Alexandra V. Tobias has has pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in the shaking death of her 3-month old son, Dylan Lee Edmondson. See, she was playing freaking Farmville on Facebook and eventually "...confessed to losing her temper while trying to concentrate on the game." Trying to concentrate on the game? It's freaking FARMVILLE. But regardless of how much concentration it did or did not require, shouldn't you have been paying more attention to your baby in the first place? Yeah, I think you are. Moron. 
Just so it's clear what a piece of shoe scum this woman is, "...she confessed to shaking the baby, smoking a cigarette to calm down and then shaking the baby again." Sooo, apparently that cigarette didn't do a whole lot of calming down, eh? Wow, lady. You really are a nutjob. But, really, have I been clear enough on what a horrible and useless individual this woman is? Not quite? Well, when the baby was taken to the hospital, he was found to have "...head injuries and a broken leg". And "Doctors said the infant died from "abusive head trauma." What in the hell is wrong with you? 
By the way, cupcake...there isn't Farmville in prison. Enjoy!
Hmm. It's been a while since I've done a Walmart post. It's also been a while since I've done a post about people trying to sell their baby. Oh, if there was only some way that I could catch up on both of those topics at the same time. Oh, wait! There is (unfortunately). 
Told you. Here's the story: In the hole of the central part of California,
otherwise known as Salinas, the male asshat in this story approached two women and asked them if they would be interested in taking his baby daughter for a small fee. And by "taking" I mean "purchasing". Now, that's pretty gutsy. Not half as gutsy as it is stupid, but still pretty gutsy.
offspring, "...said they didn't know if Fousek was joking or not". And while I understand that line of thinking, that's a heck of a thing to be joking about, not to mention extremely odd. But "...he was insistent and kept telling them 'No, I want to sell you the baby.' " It was likely that very persistence which is why "...they reported the incident to police with a description of Fousek's (the male asshat's) car." To my complete amazement, the police were able to trace the car to his apartment. I don't know why I find that so fascinating, but I do. 
police went to his house, they found the aforementioned parents to be (I hope you're sitting down) high on meth. I know! Shocking! Who would have thought that two people who tried to sell their kid for $25 would be high on meth?! I did not see that coming. And I...wait. $25? What the what? 
Correct. According to KSBW, the asking price for a 6-month old baby outside of the Westridge Walmart in Salinas is twenty five dollars. Cash money. American. Twenty five bucks seems awfully low. Was that the rollback price? Seriously, what can you buy for twenty five bucks? Not much, can you? I mean, I don't know what the going price for meth is these days, but I'm guessing that it's more than $25, isn't it? 
probably a) appropriate and b) not enough. But here's a weird little tidbit that I did not expect. The guy's brother talked to the news people at KSBW. He didn't give them his name, but he said "...that he was he, not Fousek, who tried to sell the child to the two women outside Walmart for the price of $50, and that it was all a joke."The girls knew I was kidding. Who's going to say you want to buy a baby for $50 to strangers at a Walmart? That's preposterous." And while I commend him on his use of the word 'preposterous' and for charging $50 instead of $25, that's the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard. 
And he sort of trips up himself in his own explanation. First he says that it's him who is trying to sell the child. He's the one who says that the girls knew he was kidding. But then he turns around and asks who would say such a thing! Well, you would, sir! You just said that you did! And on top of that, what in the world kind of a joke is that? Offering to sell a baby? It doesn't sound very joke-y to me. Asinine, yes? Joke-y, not so much. Try a knock-knock next time. I can almost guarantee no one will go to jail over a knock-knock joke.
Sometimes, you just have to see things to believe them. And I think that a lot of the times when that is the case, once you see them and once you believe them, that doesn't necessarily mean that you understand them. That's why you're usually left just wondering what in the world is wrong with a lot of people. And that would include wondering what in the world is wrong with the media covering such stories.
the Washington Post, there has been somewhat of an uproar after "Shocking photos of....Ardi Rizal puffing away on up to 40 cigarettes a day" came to light. Sure, sure. I know a lot of people smoke 40 cigarettes a day. I don't know how in the world that they afford it, but I know that they do it. The thing that makes this a little bit more of a head scratcher is that Ardi is 2. As in "years old". Two years old. Smoking up to 40 cigarettes a day. Wait. He's two and he...? That's right. 
While I am usually a huge fan of the Washington Post, I am not a huge fan of how they covered this story. If they were trying to win some sort of a prize for presenting the subject in the most irrelevant manner possible, then they were on top of their game. Other than that, well, I'm just glad I didn't pay for it or anything (even though I still feel a little gypped). They talked to a one Matthew Myers of something called the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids which is located in Washington, D.C. Mr. Myers was quoted as saying, "This reflects a pervasive problem in many low-income countries where tobacco companies market their products to an uneducated public." Really? Are they marketing their products in such a way that it is implied that babies should be smoking cigarettes? No? OK, then. Anything else? 
Wait. What now? Anyone, regardless of age, can buy cigarettes in Indonesia? Oh, now I see why that's a relevant fact! Of course. Because this two-year old wouldn't be able to smoke if he hadn't been able to go out and purchase the cigarettes that he's smoking on his own, right? Of course not! What does that have to do with anything?! Oh, nothing? Let's move on. 
Now, a one Seto Mulyadi, who heads the country's child protection commission, "...blamed Ardi's two-pack-a-day habit on advertising and clueless parents." Well, that's a little bit better. Though I'm still not sure what advertising has to do with this. I'm really liking the pointing the finger at the clueless parents, however. It's probably an understatement to say that's the most likely culprit here. 
the clueless bent, shall we? First, we'll hear from the boy's mother, Diana. "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." She apparently doesn't seem to see her part in all of this. She apparently doesn't seem to think that she is the parent and that she is in control and that, eventually, all of the screaming will subside. Hmm. Yep, there are definitely indicators of cluelessness here. Let's check in with the father next. 
The boy's father, Mohammed, is the moron who gave the kid his first cigarette when he was 18 months old. Nice job, Mohammed. Now your kid is incredibly fat and addicted to cigarettes. How does that make you feel, Mohammed? "He looks pretty healthy to me...I don't see the problem." Really?! He can't walk, you dumbass! Do you see other two-year olds getting around on a plastic toy truck whilst smoking a cigarette? No? Then he's NOT OK, you nitwit! 
Seriously, I know that there are different cultures and all of that, but this has so much wrong with it that I really can't even make up anything good to say about it. I guess they're not fortunate enough in Indonesia to have things like Child Protective Services or stuff like that? (That really is a question, as I have absolutely no idea about the social services of the Far East.) Oh, wait. I just read that there is some intervention being attempted with this family. "Concerned officials offered to buy the family a car if Ardi quits." A car?! That's how social services work in Indonesia? They bribe folks to do the right thing?! Grand. Good luck with that, Indonesia. Gooooood luck with that.
Directly from the file of "EEWWWW!!", we have this headline from Yahoo! Lifestyle: "I'm in love with my grandson and we're having a baby." Have I already said EEWWWW? I did? Well, something like this warrants it again. EEWWWW!! 
What the what?! Correct. What we have here is extreme oddness portraying itself as fine and dandy. Granted, there are only TWO people that are in the fine and dandy camp, as the rest of us are pretty much going with EEWWWW!! Those two folks would be a one 72-year old Pearl Carter (that's right; could she have a more old person's name than Pearl Carter?) and a one 26-year old grandson by the name of Phil Bailey. He's not just any grandson. He's Pearl's grandson. Good Lord.
Here's the scoop: Apparently, when Pearl was 18, she became pregnant (presumably through the normal means and nothing incestuous) and her parents insisted that she give the baby away as to "not to bring the family into disrepute." (Yeah, I don't think her family would be all that thrilled with her current relationship if they were all worried about the disrepute and all. Sleeping with your grandson is a surefire ticket straight to disrepute. And probably to hell, also.) 
gives birth to Phil. When Phil is 18, his mom tells him that she was adopted. She also told him that she had brain cancer. (That must have been quite a day for ol' Phil there.) He took care of her for six months before she succumbed to her cancer. That's when he decided it would be a good idea to track down his grandmother. It took him three years, but he finally did it. And considering that I know how this story turned out, I'm kind of wishing that it took him a little bit longer, you know?
So, Phil found an address for Pearl and he wrote to her. That's quaint. A letter. I wonder if he used a quill and an ink well to make her feel more comfortable? Regardless, Pearl said that she "... was stunned to get his letter...My heart jumped that I'd be re-united with a grandson. I wrote back immediately and included my phone number." To her rotary phone, I presume? 
hours." Huh. Really? OK. After that the relationship progressed and according to Pearl, "When he emailed me a photo, I thought what a handsome and sexy man he was before pinching myself – he was my grandson!" EEWWWW!! Look, I'm OK with the seeing a photo of the guy and thinking how handsome he was. That's normal. Thinking he's sexy? When you know he's your grandson? Not so normal. I'm guessing that Pearl didn't send him an image of herself because it was really short notice to find someone to do an oil painting of her. 
"Confused, Pearl talked to a friend, who told her about an article she'd read on Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA), which occurs when close relatives meet as adults and are attracted to each other." Wow. I'll give her props for telling anyone at all (though I would be interested to know if that friend has ever talked to her since), but it seems to be at this juncture that things begin to go horribly awry when Pearl concluded "I could now understand my feelings and realise they weren't wrong." 
Pearl recalls that "From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship. For the first time in years I felt sexually alive." Excuse me for a minute. I think I have something in my throat. I believe it's my lunch. EEWWWW!! 
the second week when things got a little too close for my comfort (and it should have been for theirs as well!). That's when Pearl kissed Phil and Phil kissed her back. That's also when Pearl "...explained to Phil what she'd discovered about GSA." Upon hearing about GSA, Phil stated that he "...was thrilled and excited" because "I could be with Pearl and it was OK because she'd never raised me or been in my life." Oh! UN-fortunate! Something got lost in the translation there! Because it's clearly NOT OK! It's not a matter of whether or not she has ever been in your life! She's RELATED to you! It's OK for her to be in your life. It's NOT OK for her to be in your pants! I'm certainly glad that his mother wasn't around for him to explain to her that he's doing HER mother! That's beyond how wrong even this whole ordeal is.
(WARNING: This next part is not for children. It's barely for adults.) The night that they kissed is when "...grandmother and grandson became lovers." Oh, God. "Making love to Pearl was a real eye-opener." Oh, I don't doubt that for minute! Even though if it were me and I would most definitely want my eyes closed, I'm sure that having sex with your Grandma IS an eye-opener. No kidding. He said, "It was love combined with all this sexual tension that had been building up." Sexual tension or not, it doesn't mean you should be doin' Granny! Ever! 
retirement money to find a surrogate mother and buy a donor egg to inseminate with Phil's sperm." They placed an ad and though it doesn't say where, I'm guessing craigslist? Where else would you find someone to go along with this sort of oddity?! Upon finding out of the incestuous nature of the whole thing, Roxanne says that she was "shocked". But never let a little shock hold anyone back from helping an incestuous couple reproduce! Especially if you're like Roxanne and you see that "...they're a brilliant pair and I saw how much they loved each other. I know the baby will be loved too." Sure. It'll be loved. From the retirement home, I have the feeling.
And Pearl's take on how things ended up? "I am finally going to be a mum and not forced to give up my child. Phil's going to be a great dad. I never in a million years thought at 72 I'd be "pregnant" and in love with my grandson. I make no apologies and I believe God's given me a second chance." Oh, really?! You NEVER thought you'd be in love with your grandson? I'm shocked! That never entered your mind? Go figure! And by the way, you probably should apologize. I don't know to who, but it just seems as if there's an apology that's necessary here somewhere. (I feel a little violated. I'd take an apology.) Also, while I do believe that God gives second chances, I don't think He does so in this way, exactly. Yeah, I think He does it differently. I PRAY He does it differently. Just because your cat has kittens in the oven, that doesn't make them biscuits. Or something like that.
I take that back. He is King of the Morons. In the Land of the Morons, he is the revered, he is the adored, he is their leader, he is their King. Thus, with that sort of moronism involved, I was not surprised to learn, according to the headline over across the pond at The Guardian " "We're going to court"; Sarah Palin to face legal battle over grandson". Shocking, I know.
Look, I find it hard to believe that any mother would say that about their kid. Levi is claiming that she said it all the time. Why things like that don't diminish whatever credibility anyone thinks he has is beyond me. I might only doubt (but barely doubt) that she ever said it, but I can say with great assuredness she never said it "all the time". That's just S***. Here's where it gets entertaining. 
Shocking, I know. I'm not so sure that I'd be letting the sort of guy who is more interested in flying all over the country spreading lies about the grandmother of his child see the child either. Since there doesn't seem to be a legal document in place authorizing specific visits, I guess it would have to boil down to the decision of the mother as to what would be best for said child. Keeping said child away from said jackass seems like a pretty good place to start if you're asking me.
Back to the story in The Guardian where they report "Johnston said there had been times when he had been allowed to see Tripp about once a week, but there had also been periods when he had had virtually no access. He said: "They started letting me see him and everything was fine. But everything got bad again. So I said screw them." Aaahhh. And another piece of the puzzle falls into place. Anything else there, Levi? How do you feel about it going to court?
e an idiot. 
goes around telling public lies (likely for profit) about his child's grandmother, the mother of the mother of his child (whew! That's a mouthful!) is the kind of person that they would want to see their child? I can't say that it is! But take note media outlets! Please take note!! He didn't say any of it because it was TRUE. He said it because he was RETALLIATING! He LIED. And YOU folks who paid him for his lies and gave him camera time for his lies only ENCOURAGED his lying! He's a LIAR. Please stop putting him on your TV shows. 
Seriously though, if I haven't convinced you of what a complete and utter a-hole Levi Johnston is by now, allow me to just ice this s*** cake and put a cherry on top. Here we go. Again (and still) from the article in The Guardian (linked above) "Asked whether he worried that his outspoken remarks about Tripp's grandmother might be harmful to the child, he replied: "I don't know. I hope not, but what else are you going to do?" Um, what now? 
en the child and if it messes up the kid later on in life, so be it, you needed a weapon. He does realize that when he goes to court, Sarah Palin won't be there, right? He does realize that when he goes to court, it's likely that Bristol won't be there either, right? If I were him, I'd hope to God that when he goes to court that Todd isn't there. Todd seems like the type of guy who really might take the sort of advice given by Pat Buchanan on MSNBC's Morning Joe back in July when he told Mika Brzezinski "Well, first, with regard to Levi, I think First Dude up there in Alaska, Todd Palin, ought to take Levi down to the creek and hold his head underwater until the thrashing stops.“ Well said, Pat. Well. Said. 
