Don't Sign That

People amaze me. Not just regular people. Politician people. Michele Bachmann, to be exact. Look, she's hot and all, but she has way too many toys in her attic. Or not enough toys. Something. Because she's coming across as being bat-s*** crazy.According to the fine folks across the pond at The Telegraph, Ms. Bachmann is now linking slavery to family values. Maybe I should be more specific. She's now comparing families that were in slavery to families now. I think. I think that's what she's doing. It's so idiotic that it's really hard to follow what she's trying to say. But she signed a pledge saying that she believes this, so let's see if we can sort out some of this psychosis, shall we?

It appears that there is some sort of a group called The Family Value. They seem to have come up with some sort of a "...pro-traditional marriage pledge" that they have "...given to White House contenders" for them to sign. Now, I don't know who this group is and let's face it, it's likely that you don't either. Therefore, I don't know why anyone would give a fat rat's ass what their pledge said. I also don't know why anyone who is seriously thinking about running for President would give it a second look. But apparently Michelle Bachmann did. She looked, she looked again and then she signed this thing which has no bearing upon anything.

From what I can tell, this "pledge" condemns "...gay marriage, abortion, infidelity and pornography." Hmm. I can really only condemn the infidelity. You want to get gay married? Have at it. You want to have an abortion? Please think about it beforehand, but have it if you must. You want to look at pornography? As long as it's not kiddie porn, have at it. But being a cheater just makes you a scumbag, so I'm kind of against that. But it's not like I think that there's anything that can be done about infidelity. You're either a scumbag cheater or you're not. It's not something that can be regulated.

But all of this non-influential pledge contents aside, it's the "preamble" to this thing that really has folks talking. It reads like this: "Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA's first African-American President." Umm...wait. What now?

There are so many things wrong with that sentiment that it's hard to know where to begin. First of all, (and this is in no way in defense of President Barry) I'm pretty sure that the African -American household has been in disarray long before President Barry was elected. And I'm also pretty sure that no one expected his being elected to have a major impact on that social circle. If you did think that it would, then you need a helmet at all times to protect your soft, soft head from damage. According to a one Cheryl Contee who has a blog called Jack and Jill Politics (which bills itself as "a black bourgeoisie perspective on U.S. politics"), "Given that families were broken up regularly for sales during slavery and that rape by masters was pretty common, this could not be more offensive." She would seem to have a pretty good point there. It's really hard to argue with that, so I think I'll stop there.

Seriously, why would anyone sign anything that alludes to the implication that slaves had it better than black folks do now? You should probably have your head examined if that's something that makes sense to you. Actually, I'm pretty sure that you should never imply that families that were slaves were somehow better off than anyone today who is not a slave and that those who are not slaves today are somehow the victim of politics. Or...something. See, I get lost in my own explanation because what I'm arguing about is so ridiculous that I can't believe I have to go over this.

Hey, potential Presidential candidates. A word of advice. Don't sign meaningless pledges placed before you by unheard of groups that do...something. Just don't. Don't pander. Just get out there and say what you stand for. Why do you need to sign something that could not be any more meaningless? It makes you look like an ass is what it does. And you don't want that, do you? DO YOU?

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