That's A Lot Of Mitt

If Newt Gingrich was just a little more sarcastic and a little more childish with some of his statements and retorts, he could put his campaign headquarters in a playground somewhere. The man is one step away from going down to a "I know you are but what am I?" level. And in case you haven't noticed, Newt is not a big fan of Mitt Romney. Newt would seem to see Mitt in the same light that I do, that of a phony tool. But since Newt is the one trying to run for President, he put a little more effort into pointing out Mitt's toolishness by making a video of some of his more memorable statements. And don't get me wrong. I don't think that either one of these numbskulls should be President. But that doesn't mean that the video isn't amusing. Behold! (And if it doesn't load, please click here.)

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Maybe That's Not Exactly What He Meant

Rick Perry has a new campaign video out. Without jumping directly into hate mode (as it seems so many people seem to be inclined to do about said video), I'm going to say that I hope I know what he was trying to say. I'm going to hope that he was just trying to say that it's OK to celebrate Christmas in school and that people shouldn't worry about any sort of backlash from doing so. I'm going to hope that he was trying to make a comparison by using something that is just as loopy sounding as the whole war on Christmas. Do I think he did a good job with it? God, no. He comes across as a homophobic ass. Do I think it's a terrible commercial that is probably going to do more harm than good? Absolutely. So why am I hoping that he just went about sending his message in the wrong manner? Just because. Because if how he came across is actually how he is, and the fact that he was once thought to be the Republican front runner for their Presidential nomination, well, that can't be good for anything. The video is below. If it doesn't play, try clicking here.

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Give Me Your Cash

All rightee now. Perhaps Jon Huntsman had the right idea when he went about making an innocuous campaign video. (At least, I think it was a campaign video. There are still a few days left and in the latest one that I saw, that little dude was still riding his motocross bike through the desert, so I'm not totally positive.) At least he didn't make a video like the one I'm about to show you. Holy crappings. And let me just tell you that while there are a lot of things out there that people are shouting are racist, almost none of them actually are. But this video? I think it might be just a little racist. And by "a little", I mean I think it totally is.

The video is made by something called Turn Right USA. According to their website, their mission is "...to expose and lampoon the typical politico’s microscopic brain through cutting-edge viral videos with guts and humor!" OK. I'm good with that. I like humor! I like cutting-edge! But that doesn't mean that we see those two things in the same way. In fact, I'm pretty sure that we see them in a totally different manner altogether.

Turn Right USA decided to make an attack ad against a one Janice Hahn. She appears to be a Los Angeles Councilwoman. The ad alleges that she hired "...hard core gang members with taxpayer money to be gang intervention specialists." The ad also alleges that "She even helped them get out of jail so they could rape and kill again." That seems kind of unlikely, but I'm still listening. After those allegations, the ad takes a turn to a place that you just shouldn't go. It shows a scantily clad woman who seems to resemble Ms. Hahn walk up to a stripper pole. That's when the rapping black guys emerge.

That's right. Rapping black guys. They're supposed to be the thugs that allegedly worked with Ms. Hahn. And they rap a catchy a little tune. It goes like this: "Give me your cash, bitch, so we can shoot up the street. Give me your cash, bitch, so we can buy some more heat." And these rapper thug guys with their guns are imposed over the fake Ms. Hahn on the stripper pole who is shaking her buttocks rapidly as the gentlemen place dollar bills in her panties. It's a class act. Watch: (And if it doesn't show, click here.)



Impressive, eh? Am I saying that they shouldn't be allowed to air that piece of s***? Of course not. I'm a big proponent of free speech. But there are some things that are just in poor taste and I think that is one of them. Were all of the thugs that she allegedly let out of prison black men? Or is that just how the ad wants to portray the black men? I don't get it. It's weird. Granted, I would like to know a little bit more about this program that she allegedly instituted by working with gang members and allegedly getting them out of jail. It seems to be something that, if she was involved in it, people should probably know about. But do they need to find out about it by portraying her as an agile cheeked stripper with thug customers. (I really wish that when people portray strippers that are getting a lot of money that they show them with more than a few ones strategically tucked into their outfits. You people can't throw a five spot in there?) It's in poor taste. I'm pretty sure it's at least a little racist. And if she hasn't actually ever been a stripper, I'm pretty sure that it's a little sexist as well. I'm actually at a loss as to what to say about this. It's just wrong, is what it is. Hopefully Turn Right USA will navigate itself into a dead end and this will be the last of this crap that we have to deal with from them.

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What Was That?

I realize that the next Presidential election isn't for about seventeen months, but that doesn't mean that people aren't already starting to declare that they're going to run against President Barry. That also doesn't mean that people aren't already starting to talk about people as if they are full-blown, nominated candidates. It's not even CLOSE to nomination time! And really, I'm still kind of recovering from the 2008 election. Seriously, when did that start getting coverage? 2006? Yeah, I knew I was exhausted for a reason.

I don't think that you need a fancy ad to announce that you're going to seek the nomination from your party. Just announce it, already. But wait. If you're going to just announce it already, have it make some freaking sense, would you? Take the ad from a one Jon Huntsman. If this thing makes any freaking sense to you, I'm ready to hear all about it because I am stumped. Seriously, watch this: (And if it doesn't load, click here and watch that.)

6 Days from Jon Huntsman Jr. on Vimeo.

See what I mean? What the hell was that?! "In 6 days." I got that part. "Did not become famous with his band 'Wizard'." Wait. What now? His band Wizard? He's 51 years old and he's still touting his high school band? That NO ONE has ever heard about or knows about? And what's with the motocross racer? Was he in the band, too? Why does the motocross racer who may or may not have been in a band 35 years ago have anything to do with announcing that you want to make a run for a nomination to run for President? I don't know what I just watched. I hope that Mr. Huntsman hones his communication skills "In 6 days". And he might want to ditch the motocross guy. And for the love of God, don't talk about your high school band when you're 51. (Also, if you're IN high school, don't name your band "Wizard". Wizards are cool, but naming your band after them is not.)

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JTP is Back

I always knew that Joe the Plumber (aka Samuel J.Wurzelbacher) didn't have a whole lot of candle power going on upstairs. That doesn't mean he's a bad guy or anything, it just means that he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Some folks that operate on a lower wattage than a lot of us are fully aware of their shortcomings. Some. Not all. Unfortunately, not all. No, some are just as unaware as to their dimness as they are unaware of a lot of other things. Joe the Plumber seems to be in the latter category.

I thought this guy had finally figured out that he was no longer needed for any sort of political anything and would have gone quietly away. And he did go away for a while, though he could have gone a bit more quieter. (Did he really need to slap his name on a book that we're all supposed to pretend to believe that he actually wrote?) But he's back and it doesn't sound like he's learned much from his 15 minutes of fame.

According to a one Scott Detrow, who is a reporter for PA Public Radio, Joe the Plumber was on hand to lend his support to Representative Sam Rohrer’s Mobilize for Liberty event. According to JTP, he's been approached by over 200 politicians looking for his "endorsement". (I have that in quotes because I'm not real sure what an endorsement from JTP would actually consist of.) So far, he's only seen it fit to back five of them. He makes it sound as if he has some sort of complicated vetting process, but it sounds to me like he sits down with folks to listen to them for a bit and then he decides whether or not he agrees with what they're spouting. I'm not saying that's a bad idea. It sounds fairly reasonable. All I'm saying is that it's not a complicated and drawn out process or anything.

I find it amazing that anyone would want to have this guy stump for them. I mean, after all, who is this guy anyway? He's not really anyone other than the guy that John McCain grabbed onto and had as sort of a backup spokesperson for his campaign. (You remember John McCain? Him and that quirky lady from Alaska gave President Barry a pretty good run for the presidency.) If it hadn't been for McCain elevating JTP to a position of anything more than just a guy who asked a question of Barack Obama during an election stop, there would be no reason for JTP to be doing anything today other than unclogging toilets and laying pipe. (If that is, in fact, what he did before. I really have no idea, nor do I care. I was just going with stereotypical plumber duties there.) Oh, but don't expect him to be loyal or grateful to McCain or anything. No, he's done with that.

According to Mr. Detrow, Joe the Plumber "...said he doesn’t support Sarah Palin anymore...Because she’s backing John McCain’s re-election effort." He also said that “John McCain is no public servant" and he called him "a career politician". All rightee then. Let's see where that came from, shall we?

Apparently, Mr. Detrow had the same reaction that I did and he "...pointed out he’d just be plain old Sam Wurzelbacher of Ohio...without McCain." Yes! That's exactly who he would be. But that doesn't matter to JTP as he responded with “I don’t owe him s—. He really screwed my life up, is how I look at it.”

Umm...screwed your life up? That's how you look at it? How, exactly, did he screw your life up? Because if it hadn't been for John McCain then you wouldn't be supporting those five politicians that you chose to support? Is that it? No, that can't be it because that would be asinine. Was it that your life was so screwed up that all you can do now is support those five politicians? No, that can't be it because that, too, would be asinine. Maybe it was having to put his name on that book. Maybe that's the life screwing that he's referring to. (Oh, sure, I realize that seems asinine as well, but I'm running out of speculative theories here, so you're really going to have to work with me on some of this!)

Joe the Plumber believe that “McCain was trying to use me. I happened to be the face of middle Americans. It was a ploy.” Why, yes! Yes it was a ploy! Congratulations! That might be the first thing that you've gotten right all the live long day! What the heck did you think McCain was doing with you?! Using you! Yes! And what do you think these five politicians that you've chosen to support are doing with you? Using you! Yes! Wait...does he get that last part?

I don't think he does. When Mr. Detrow asked him why he's still milking the whole JTP image thing he replied that "...it’s his duty to take advantage of the platform he’s been given. He wants to talk up the issues he cares about, and encourage the grassroots tea party movement." Wait. What now?

So, it's OK for him to take advantage of him, but it's not OK for anyone else to take advantage of him? It doesn't matter how he got to where he's at, even though what he's stumping for is right along the same platform that McCain was campaigning on. That has nothing to do with it, am I understanding this correctly? I'm pretty sure that I am, but it's just so ridiculous that I'm beginning to question it myself.

It's completely unclear to me why JTP has this impression of John McCain, but he's not exactly acting like a guy whose life has been "screwed up". He seems to be a rather unappreciative and clueless guy who is pretty lucky to be in the position that he's in regardless as to how he got there. I'm not saying that he's lucky because he was some sort of hidden genius that the world would have never been aware of otherwise. I'm saying that he's lucky because who wouldn't want to be handed a platform (and a bunch of money) to go out there and say what they believe and have people seemingly want to listen to you? That's a pretty good gig if you can get it.

Fortunately, these Joe the Plumber appearances are usually short lived. We shouldn't have to hear from him or about him until at least May, maybe June if we're lucky.

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