Let's take a walk back in time to an era when the Internet was just beginning. And let's watch a video that gives us some tips about online safety for kids. Because sometimes things will come up on your screen that you haven't seen before. Hell, there will be some things on your screen that most adults haven't seen before. (Granted, now that the Internet has been around for a while, there isn't much that anyone hasn't seen before. I find it unfortunate that you can't unsee things. I have some pretty disturbing images blazed into my brain.) And this video aims to warn you of them. It also gives you a lovely image as to what an online perv might look like. (Hint: If you imagined him with a child molester moustache and a sleeveless T-shirt, step forward to claim your prize.) And look, I'm not trying to say that the messages in this video aren't valid. They are. And the bottom line is that people lie on the Internet (Great Scott!) and there's a lot of porn out there. I just find this little snippet of nostalgia a rather amusing way of trying to keep everyone safe. (And just in case you were wondering, no, I don't know why they're chatting with what appears to be Microsoft Word.)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Royal Wedding Ridiculousness
If you're looking for a blog where the author is crazy into the upcoming royal wedding, you've come to the wrong place. Even if you're looking for a blog where the author gives just a half of a rat's ass about the upcoming royal wedding, you've come to the wrong place. I don't think it would be possible for me to care any less about the soon-to-be nuptials of a one Prince William and his future bride, Kate Something. But there are some people who are all over this outdated sort of crap. And there's plenty of ridiculous memorabilia to mark the occasion. Apparently, there are people who buy this sort of stuff. I don't know who, but considering that they're even interested in the royal wedding at all, I guess I wouldn't put anything past them. People like that should be closely watched at all times. The woman below, who allegedly has the largest collection of royal wedding memorabilia in the world, also allegedly has a jar of sweetened milk that allegedly contains one of Princess Diana's hairs. See? She should be watched. Closely. Very closely.
Are people still buying porcelain thimbles? You can buy a Kate What's-Her-Name one if you want. I guess it could come in handy if you lose the little silver one that comes with Monopoly. I don't see the point in a regular thimble, let alone a porcelain one.
Feel like a little break from your college classes and want to chuck a Frisbee around for a while until Poli-Sci 101 starts? You could own this lovely William and Kate Frisbee and prove to all of your buddies once in for all that you likely have no testicles. I don't even think that dogs at a dog park would chase that. 
Do you like things that are completely outdated? You know, like the outdated concept of having a king and queen to rule over the land? If so, then you're going to love this lovely royal wedding commemorative cell phone that looks to be a leftover from somewhere around the year 2000. 
Will you be so excited about the royal wedding that you're just going to have an impossible time curbing all of the carnal feelings that will surface? Do you hear the words "royal wedding" and immediately get turned on? If that's the case, you'll be happy to know that you can go shagging in royal wedding style with these lovely "Crown Jewels" condoms. According to the box, they are "Lavishly Lubed" and "Royally Ribbed". They make me majestically miffed. I wonder if the lady with the princess hair milk has these?
Do you like things that are completely outdated? You know, like the outdated concept of having a king and queen to rule over the land? If so, then you're going to love this lovely royal wedding commemorative cell phone that looks to be a leftover from somewhere around the year 2000. 
Will you be so excited about the royal wedding that you're just going to have an impossible time curbing all of the carnal feelings that will surface? Do you hear the words "royal wedding" and immediately get turned on? If that's the case, you'll be happy to know that you can go shagging in royal wedding style with these lovely "Crown Jewels" condoms. According to the box, they are "Lavishly Lubed" and "Royally Ribbed". They make me majestically miffed. I wonder if the lady with the princess hair milk has these?
Want to do a little teabagging after the royal wedding? What's that? Teabagging means what?! Oh, good Lord! That's not what I was referring to! I was talking about a simple cup of tea with these barely recognizable William and Kate tea bags. Behold!
What's worse that regular garden gnomes? You guessed it. Weird, royal wedding garden gnomes. I'm really not sure why these are considered royal wedding memorabilia, as there is nothing that stands out about them for this particular occasion. Sure, we know their British by their distinctive hats, but there's really no indication as to who these gnomes might be portraying. Whatever. The people who buy this sort of stuff don't seem to have a lot of sense to begin with, so I doubt that it's going to matter to them.
And finally, I have run across two items that I could possibly see myself making some use out of. One of them I could see myself purchasing and the other one I could see myself using. First, the one that I would shell out my hard earned money for. It's an ale called Kiss Me Kate. I don't care what's on the outside of the bottle, beer is beer. It could be Jeffrey Dahmer Draft or Jared Loughner Lager and I'd still drink it.
And finally, the item that I would probably get the most use out of. It's a barf bag. You know. Just in case you've had about as much of this royal wedding talk as you can take and you find yourself throne up. It would probably also come in handy if that pun caused you to feel just a little bit nauseous there. I don't blame you.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Donald Trump: Birther
As if Donald Trump wasn't whack-a-do enough, he has now come out with a rather birther-like stance about President Barry and his birth certificate. I guess this is getting press because allegedly Donald Trump is thinking about running for president. I don't really think he's going to, but I think he likes to be out there, stroking his own ego, and let others stroke it as well. (Yes, I know what sounds like, so keep your comments to yourselves!) I'm going to get behind what Jon Stewart told Extra TV when Stewart was asked what he would think of it if Trump did run for president. "A gift from God. That is, if he's to continue this, it would be a gift from God. He would be, in fact, gold-plating my living room. I'd be excited to see him do that." And while my living room wouldn't end up gold plated like Mr. Stewart's, I'd still have one heck of a good time with that one as well. It came to light on 'The View' last week that Mr. Trump was more of a
nutjob than I had previously thought. Personally, I can't watch 'The View'. All of those shrews talking at the same time in those shrill voices? And offering opinions based upon absolutely nothing other than their estrogen? No thanks. But I did catch the clip where The Donald said that he had "a little" doubt about whether or not President Barry was born in this country. He said something to the effect of there must be something on his birth certificate that he doesn't want people to see. He also thinks that it is weird that no one remembers him from early in his life. Where to begin?
nutjob than I had previously thought. Personally, I can't watch 'The View'. All of those shrews talking at the same time in those shrill voices? And offering opinions based upon absolutely nothing other than their estrogen? No thanks. But I did catch the clip where The Donald said that he had "a little" doubt about whether or not President Barry was born in this country. He said something to the effect of there must be something on his birth certificate that he doesn't want people to see. He also thinks that it is weird that no one remembers him from early in his life. Where to begin? 
First of all and for what I wish was the last time, he already has produced a copy of his birth certificate. There was also an announcement in the Honolulu newspaper after his birth. And finally, if there was anyone on the planet who would prove that he was not born in this country and thus ineligible to be president, it would be Hillary Clinton. Do you really think that she didn't have every single resource at her disposal working on this issue when she was campaigning for the Democratic party nomination? She wanted to be president so bad, she would have done just about anything short of murder in order to get it. (And really, I'm not even so sure that was ever off the table.) 
But back to The Donald. Now, in an "exclusive" with Newsmax, Donald Trump has "...released his birth certificate" in an effort to...um...well...I don't know what the point of that was. One of the "points" that he makes is where he states "I went to the best college and I was a great student, and it is inconceivable to my brain that no doctor, no nurse, nobody has stepped forward to verify the birth, other than the governor. He remembers? The governor? A birth 50 years ago? Come on. He’s taking a bullet for his party." Oh, for cryin' out loud! Really?
That's the best that he can come up with? First of all, President Barry is 50. It would not be inconceivable for the people who were in the delivery room with him to be dead at this time. After all, his parents (who were a fairly integral part of the process) are dead. And I find it absolutely insane that when the governor says that he remembers the birth of Barack Obama (if that is what Donald Trump is referring to there) that it isn't good enough! That's what Trump wants, isn't it? For someone to come forward and say that they remember? Someone did! But on top of that, you know why it doesn't matter? Because he already HAS produced his birth certificate! What part of that don't those people understand?! (By the way, strangely enough, people have talked about remembering his birth. You can look at this article over at Snopes.com. Feel free to pass it on to Donald Trump if you happen to see him.) But back to Donald Trump's birth certificate! When President Barry did provide a copy of his birth certificate, it looked like this:
OK. There it is. Also, there was this announcement (49 years ago) that appeared in the newspaper:
That's good enough for me. But Donald Trump, in some sort of weird effort to prove something, releases his birth certificate and it looks like this:
Are you kidding me!? THAT is acceptable to Donald Trump as something that proves someone was born in this country? I could make that on Photoshop in less than ten minutes! I could probably do it in less than five minutes provided that I already had a template and a nice star sticker on hand. Is it filled in with pencil? What the what is that anyway?! I have never seen a birth certificate that looked like that. Are we sure that Donald Trump was born in this country? What's underneath that sticker? What is he trying to hide?!
Are you kidding me!? THAT is acceptable to Donald Trump as something that proves someone was born in this country? I could make that on Photoshop in less than ten minutes! I could probably do it in less than five minutes provided that I already had a template and a nice star sticker on hand. Is it filled in with pencil? What the what is that anyway?! I have never seen a birth certificate that looked like that. Are we sure that Donald Trump was born in this country? What's underneath that sticker? What is he trying to hide?! 
I find it amusing that this is still an issue with some people. Granted, I find it more annoying than I do amusing, but it's still amusing none the less. I guess that people don't realize how ridiculous they sound when they talk about not believing that President Barry was born in this country. They also don't seem to realize that when you sound like a gigantic fruitcake, it does very little to further your cause. That is, unless your cause is furthering fruitcakes. In that case, you're golden. But in the real world, you're a bit of a doofus, Mr. Trump. Monday, March 28, 2011
It's Not A Threat, Nancy!
You might want to have an ice pick handy with which to use to stab out your ears when you listen to the clip below. What we have is the insufferable Nancy Grace, who still has a cable TV show for some reason. If you're unfamiliar with this woman, her show goes something like this: She doesn't listen to anything that anyone has to say. She will argue with her 'experts'. She has no intention of presenting both sides of any story. And she also seems very pleased with her own act. She seems to be a horrible woman, which is why I don't watch her show. But I did run across the clip below where she is arguing with a one Bernie Rayno who is the senior
meteorologist (take that for what it's worth) at something called Accuweather.com. (As I perused their FAQs, I learned that they have ads on their website to keep their content free. That's normal. I also learned that they feel that there is nothing wrong with 2 pop-up ads every five minutes. That's not so normal.) He is trying to assure Nancy Grace that there is no reason for people on the California coast to be panicking about any radiation from the damaged nuclear reactors in Japan making its way over here in harmful amounts. She does not want to be reassured. She wants to instill fear into the hearts and souls of those softheaded individuals who are actually watching her show and listening to what she says. The interaction between the two is below.
meteorologist (take that for what it's worth) at something called Accuweather.com. (As I perused their FAQs, I learned that they have ads on their website to keep their content free. That's normal. I also learned that they feel that there is nothing wrong with 2 pop-up ads every five minutes. That's not so normal.) He is trying to assure Nancy Grace that there is no reason for people on the California coast to be panicking about any radiation from the damaged nuclear reactors in Japan making its way over here in harmful amounts. She does not want to be reassured. She wants to instill fear into the hearts and souls of those softheaded individuals who are actually watching her show and listening to what she says. The interaction between the two is below. I do enjoy how the weather guy seems to know that she isn't going to want 
to hear anything that he has to say if it would involve calming the fears of people who are so out of touch with reality that they are actually afraid of something like this. And as for her declaring that the governor of California has declared a state of emergency, Mr. Meteorologist hit the nail on the head (though I wish he could have hit her on the head) when he exclaimed, "For radiation?!" And alas, his disbelief is warranted, as the state of emergency was issued because of excessive rainfall in some areas. I'm not quite sure what she gains from setting off a minor panic amongst the dullards of this world, but she seems to really enjoy herself.
to hear anything that he has to say if it would involve calming the fears of people who are so out of touch with reality that they are actually afraid of something like this. And as for her declaring that the governor of California has declared a state of emergency, Mr. Meteorologist hit the nail on the head (though I wish he could have hit her on the head) when he exclaimed, "For radiation?!" And alas, his disbelief is warranted, as the state of emergency was issued because of excessive rainfall in some areas. I'm not quite sure what she gains from setting off a minor panic amongst the dullards of this world, but she seems to really enjoy herself. Sunday, March 27, 2011
What's He Pointing At?
There is not crap on TV on Saturday nights. Well, there is crap on TV. Lots of it. But there isn't any crap worth watching (for the most part) on Saturday nights. Sometimes you can hope for a good movie, but for the most part, it's crap. And last night I ended up settling on watching Back to the Future III. Not crap by any means. I did notice something a little weird, though.
At the end, when Doc and Clara come back to 1985 with their two boys, Jules and Verne, they're
talking with Marty and Jennifer. And as Doc is yammering on about how no one's future is set in stone just yet (unless you're Lindsay Lohan and in that case, you're pretty much screwed) and it is what you make it, one of the boys makes this odd hand gesture toward his penis. That's right. Toward his penis. It was sort of like a 'come hither' gesture followed by very distinctive pointing. And if you've ever seen Back to the Future III then you know that it has absolutely nothing to do with a penis whatsoever! The video of it is below. I'm open to suggestions as to what the what was going on there.
talking with Marty and Jennifer. And as Doc is yammering on about how no one's future is set in stone just yet (unless you're Lindsay Lohan and in that case, you're pretty much screwed) and it is what you make it, one of the boys makes this odd hand gesture toward his penis. That's right. Toward his penis. It was sort of like a 'come hither' gesture followed by very distinctive pointing. And if you've ever seen Back to the Future III then you know that it has absolutely nothing to do with a penis whatsoever! The video of it is below. I'm open to suggestions as to what the what was going on there. Saturday, March 26, 2011
WTF? New Words?
The Oxford English Dictionary added some new words, phrases and symbols the other day. Does it seem to you like they just did this the other day? It felt that way to me. That's when I learned that they update the thing every three months. Really? Every three months? That seems a bit extreme to me, but they take this sort of thing fairly seriously over there. Even though I knew that one particular addition was inevitable, I was not looking forward to it. Yes,
that's right. LOL made it in. I guess in some ways, that's good. I mean, maybe now people won't think that it stands for 'lots of love' and text inappropriate condolences. (Example: "I heard your mom died. I'm so sorry. LOL!") I've just never been a big LOL fan. I think that's because I never believe that people are actually L-ing OL when they write that. Something has to be pretty danged funny for me to be vocal with my amusement and I feel that it's that way for the majority of other folks as well. But I'm pretty sure that CQTM (Chuckling Quietly To Myself) isn't going to catch on anytime soon.)
that's right. LOL made it in. I guess in some ways, that's good. I mean, maybe now people won't think that it stands for 'lots of love' and text inappropriate condolences. (Example: "I heard your mom died. I'm so sorry. LOL!") I've just never been a big LOL fan. I think that's because I never believe that people are actually L-ing OL when they write that. Something has to be pretty danged funny for me to be vocal with my amusement and I feel that it's that way for the majority of other folks as well. But I'm pretty sure that CQTM (Chuckling Quietly To Myself) isn't going to catch on anytime soon.) 
They also have added OMG (Oh, my God), BFF (Best Friends Forever) and IMHO (In My Humble Opinion). But for some reason, they have yet to add WTF. That HAS to be in there eventually, right? I checked the Oxford Dictionary Online to see if there was a definition for the F-word. Not only was it defined, it was quite thorough. I was pleased. Thus, I'm guessing that WTF can't be far behind. If you're going to have IMHO in the dictionary, you have to have WTF. Not that I'm the measuring stick for any of this stuff, but I don't think that I have ever used IMHO. WTF, on the other hand, is a daily staple. But what really surprised me wasn't all of the acronyms that they shoved in
there. (They also included the heart symbol. As in "I Heart New York". It means you love something. I'm not thrilled with the thought of the dictionary turning into some sort of hipster rebus.) It was all of the words that made it in that, astonishingly, weren't in there already. I'm perfectly OK with them adding things like "fnarr fnarr" (used to represent sniggering, typically at a sexual innuendo), "kleftiko" (appears to be some sort of lamb dish), "rozzle" (some sort of slang that either means hugging, joking around, or thinking someone is hot) and "yidaki", which I think is a type of didgeridoo. (No word on whether didgeridoo was already in there or not.) Those are words I've never heard of and if they're going to make them official words, that's fine. But what about "rude"? Wait. What?
there. (They also included the heart symbol. As in "I Heart New York". It means you love something. I'm not thrilled with the thought of the dictionary turning into some sort of hipster rebus.) It was all of the words that made it in that, astonishingly, weren't in there already. I'm perfectly OK with them adding things like "fnarr fnarr" (used to represent sniggering, typically at a sexual innuendo), "kleftiko" (appears to be some sort of lamb dish), "rozzle" (some sort of slang that either means hugging, joking around, or thinking someone is hot) and "yidaki", which I think is a type of didgeridoo. (No word on whether didgeridoo was already in there or not.) Those are words I've never heard of and if they're going to make them official words, that's fine. But what about "rude"? Wait. What? 
"Rude". They added "rude". According to the page where the updates are, "rude, n.1" was added to the Oxford English Dictionary. They didn't have that in there before? It appears that they're defining it this time as a noun, so maybe that's the difference? Words that I would have thought would have already been in the dictionary include "router, n.6", "la-la land, n.", "dotted line, n. and adj.", "biker, n.", "car crash, n.", "headline, v.", "rototill, v.", "taquito, n.", and "stonewash, n., v.".
Car crash? Cars have been crashing since the invention of the car and they're just now getting around to putting it in the dictionary? And biker? Really? That wasn't in there before now? Amazing. How did stonewash elude the pages of the OED for so long? Where were these people in early 1990s? I don't get it. I thought they would have been a little more on top of things. Friday, March 25, 2011
Late To Her Own Funeral
I'm not much for dwelling on the deaths of celebrities from the days of yore. But I just learned something about Elizabeth Taylor's funeral that I found interesting and highly amusing. It's also something that I am going to implement into my own funeral service one day. (And that day will probably not ever come quick enough for me. I've thought about titling my autobiography "Sprinting Toward The Grave - The Story of Me". But, I'm sure that I'm going to live a very long life, filled to the brim with frustration and annoyance at every day occurrences, politics and bureaucracy. That would be just my luck.)From the folks over at AOL News, we learn that Elizabeth
Taylor was buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery yesterday and things did not start on time. No. According to her publicist (Elizabeth Taylor still needed a publicist?), Sally Morrison, "The service began 15 minutes after its announced start time in observance of Taylor's parting wish that her funeral start late." That's right. Taylor had left instructions asking for the tardy start and had requested that someone announce, "She even wanted to be late for her own funeral," Morrison said. I find that to be just awesome. That's what I want to do. Make people laugh one last time after I'm dead. That's a true entertainer right there. Nice job.
Taylor was buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery yesterday and things did not start on time. No. According to her publicist (Elizabeth Taylor still needed a publicist?), Sally Morrison, "The service began 15 minutes after its announced start time in observance of Taylor's parting wish that her funeral start late." That's right. Taylor had left instructions asking for the tardy start and had requested that someone announce, "She even wanted to be late for her own funeral," Morrison said. I find that to be just awesome. That's what I want to do. Make people laugh one last time after I'm dead. That's a true entertainer right there. Nice job. Thursday, March 24, 2011
Intestinal Fortitude
The other day we learned about a woman in Scranton, PA who was arrested with something like 51 packages of heroin, 30-some odd drug baggies, 8-1/2 prescription pills and fifty-two dollars and twenty two cents, all conveniently packaged within the warmth and comfort of her own vagina. Well, if she's looking for a date or something, I think I have found the perfect person to hook her up with.
Meet Neil Lansing. Mr. Lansing resides in Sarasota County, Florida. According to the blog Jonathan Turley (Mr. Turley is a "...nationally recognized legal scholar who has written extensively in areas ranging from constitutional law to legal theory to tort law." I find his blog to be very interesting.), when Mr. Lansing was being booked into jail, a "virtual Cornucopia" turned up during the cavity search. In case you're unfamiliar with a cavity search, let me just say that those doing the searching were not dentists. I'll let you noodle the rest of that through.
Inside of his rectum (for those of you still noodling, you can probably stop now, as I'm sure you can figure out which cavity we are referring to here) they found some contraband. Let me take this opportunity to mention that I am really glad that my career path has taken me in directions so that I will never have to be in the position of discovering items that someone has shoved up their bodily cavities that are supposed to be "Out Only". But I digress. They found the following items:
17 Oxycodone pills
1 cigarette (Really? Up...there? You can't tell me that thing was still in tact after all of the...inserting and...removing. Cigarettes are kind of fragile. They're certainly not meant for deep drilling purposes.)
6 matches (It doesn't specify what kind of matches. I'm hoping that they were waterproof.)
6 matches (It doesn't specify what kind of matches. I'm hoping that they were waterproof.)
1 flint (A flint?!?! Was he expecting to be participating in some sort of Boy Scout Jamboree? Having a flint up your ass is probably the epitome of the slogan "Be prepared".)
1 empty syringe with eraser over needle (Of course. An eraser. For protection. Safety first! What, pray tell, what he planning on injecting with said syringe? Never mind. I don't want to know.)
1 lip balm container (It doesn't say if there was any lip balm actually in the container. I could see not wanting chapped lips, but considering where the balm would be coming from, I think I'd tough it out.)
1 condom (Again, safety first! I certainly hope that he was planning on removing all of his supplies before he would be taking one for the team. I'm guessing that there's not much room in there for anything else, let alone Bubba's penis.)
1 CVS receipt (For tax purposes. Sure. That makes sense. It's either that or he was planning on returning something. Please, sir. For the love of all that is good and has not been up your rear end, please don't try to return any of that. )
And finally, one...coupon? (What the what? OK, I understand being frugal and thrifty, but in jail? What's he planning to save a dollar on? Is that where he normally keeps his coupons? What's that like when he goes to check out? "Just a minute. I have a coupon for that. Where is it?...Let's see...I know I brought it with me...Oh! That's right! I have inserted it into my rectum!"
Mr. Lansing was subsequently charged with being a dumbass. OK, that wasn't the official charge, but do you have a better name for it?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Governmental Light Bulb Clean Up
Basically, the government has decided that it knows what light bulbs are best for the public to use. Therefore, the regular light bulbs that we've all grown to know and love since the days of Thomas Edison are out and those damn curly, swirly CFL bulbs are in. That's right. Sometime in 2012, you will no longer be able to choose which light bulb you want to use. This in the "Land of the Free". I understand that the new ones will save you a minimal amount of money over the course of the bulb. I also understand that I am the one who pays my electric bill. And as long as I pay for it, why does the government get to tell me which bulb to use? Besides, I hate the light that comes off of those swirly things. It's too fluorescent for me. It's a very harsh light. I'm a rather delicate flower in some areas and the light in my home that I bathe myself in is just one of those areas.
Another thing that you're going to say goodbye to? Cleaning up a broken light bulb without having to follow a series of directions that spans over four pages and requires just about everything except a Hazmat suit (and I'm sure that one would actually be preferred). I'm not kidding. What we have here is a document that appears to be put out by the Connecticut Department of Public Health and is entitled: Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs What To Do If A Bulb Breaks Wait. What now?
I would have thought that the answer would have simply been "Sweep it up". Oh, no. No, no, no. That's the old way of doing things. The new way is much different. And of course, different is better. And since this is the ONLY choice for a light bulb that you're going to have pretty soon, I suggest you pay attention. You're going to need the following:• Disposable gloves
• Flashlight
• Duct tape or other sticky tape
• 2 index cards or stiff pieces of paper
• Zip-lock bags
• Damp paper towels or rags
• Portable window fan (optional)
That's right. Six items. Or seven if you're going to utilize the option of
breaking out your portable window fan. But don't worry. Considering that you're supposed to leave the area that the bulb is broken in for at least fifteen minutes, you'll have plenty of time to gather your supplies. And before you do any of that, make sure that you "Turn off forced hot air heat, central air conditioners, and fans." And "Open windows to allow fresh air in." Oh, but don't do any of this if you're pregnant. If you're pregnant, you are specifically instructed to not do it and to find someone else to do it for you. You're also supposed to keep infants, small children, women who are pregnant and pets out of the room...if you've broken a light bulb.
breaking out your portable window fan. But don't worry. Considering that you're supposed to leave the area that the bulb is broken in for at least fifteen minutes, you'll have plenty of time to gather your supplies. And before you do any of that, make sure that you "Turn off forced hot air heat, central air conditioners, and fans." And "Open windows to allow fresh air in." Oh, but don't do any of this if you're pregnant. If you're pregnant, you are specifically instructed to not do it and to find someone else to do it for you. You're also supposed to keep infants, small children, women who are pregnant and pets out of the room...if you've broken a light bulb. 
In cleaning up of the shattered bulb, you are not allowed to vacuum or sweep and for heaven's sake, don't use a metal dust pan. (They don't give any reason for not using the metal dust pan, but I suspect that spontaneous combustion is involved.) No, you're supposed to pick up the big pieces with your gloved hands and then use the index cards to sort of scoop the other pieces into piles and then you use the sticky tape to pick up those pieces. Shove all of that into a ziploc bag when you're done and seal the crap outta that sucker, lest you succumb to...something. Once you're done with that, you're supposed to pat the area down
with the damp paper towels or rags and then seal those and the gloves in another ziploc bag and put them both "...in an outdoor trashcan immediately" as "Getting the waste out of the house right away is an important safety step." And even though you've been all safe up to this point, it's also imperative that you "Wash your hands and face after the waste has been removed from the house." Also, Continue to ventilate the room for as long as possible (at least several hours)." That's right. Hours. (Hey, it helps exhaust the "dirty air' out of the building!) I don't know about where you are, but winter gets a little chilly around here. I'm not so sure that I want to ventilate my room for several hours in the middle of winter. Sooooo, try to only break bulbs during the warm weather months.
with the damp paper towels or rags and then seal those and the gloves in another ziploc bag and put them both "...in an outdoor trashcan immediately" as "Getting the waste out of the house right away is an important safety step." And even though you've been all safe up to this point, it's also imperative that you "Wash your hands and face after the waste has been removed from the house." Also, Continue to ventilate the room for as long as possible (at least several hours)." That's right. Hours. (Hey, it helps exhaust the "dirty air' out of the building!) I don't know about where you are, but winter gets a little chilly around here. I'm not so sure that I want to ventilate my room for several hours in the middle of winter. Sooooo, try to only break bulbs during the warm weather months.
That's just the cleanup for hard surfaces. For rugs or area rugs, there is a whole different set of instructions which span a couple of pages. And one of the things that they mention is that if you break one of these CFL bulbs on an area rug is to consider disposing of the entire rug! Oh, and after all of this is cleaned up and you've changed out of your Hazmat suit, remember that "...pregnant women and young children should stay out of a room where a CFL has broken until several days after the clean-up." Several DAYS?! What in the world is IN these things?! I'm really not thrilled about having this toxic item in my home when my regular bulbs (the ones that I pay for and that I pay for the energy that they use) work just FINE! I am going on a regular light bulb shopping expedition in the coming days as I stock up on enough regular bulbs to last me for the rest of my life. Which, if they keep coming up with asinine restrictions on items that I can and cannot use in my own home, is going to be in the very near future.Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sacre Boom!
All I have for today are some brief musings about Libya. I'm also open to any other opinions, as I seem to have run rather low on give-a-damn these days.
I was at Starbucks this past weekend and I heard people talking about the U.S. joining in to help establish a no-fly zone in Libya. I was shocked (for reals this time) and all I wanted to do was to point out to these people that we are already involved in two other wars that no one ever talks about! They were acting as if our military's presence is not already being felt in two Muslim sand lands and has been for the past ten years. But no, I just let them talk. I think I was too stunned to even pipe up, anyway.
Speaking of the no-fly zone, why are we participating in the bombing of things? There have been buildings bombed and trucks bombed and all sort of stuff bombed. Last time I checked, none of those things flew. How is this a no-fly zone and not just a bunch of planes and subs bombing stuff? Don't get me wrong, I'm not necessarily against it (though I don't think that I can necessarily be for it), I'm just pointing out that those things don't fly.
I'm tired of the U.S. being the world's policeman. There is absolutely no reason for us to be involved in the Libya thing. The U.S. has no vested interest in Libya one way or the other. I'd also like to know who is in charge of picking and choosing which atrocities we get involved in. OK, so the Libyan forces were killing the rebels. (Are we all really so surprised that Gaddafi isn't going quietly into the sand dunes like Mubarak did over yonder in Egypt? I'm more surprised that Mubarak didn't do the same thing that Gaddafi is doing.) There is constant rape going on in the Congo. Or is it just Congo? Whatever it is, it's very rape-y over there. That's not important to stop? What about Kim Jung Il? He's a lunatic in platform shoes and ladies eyewear and likely has nuclear weaponry. Why don't we take him out while we're at it? No, instead we're all focused on Libya for some reason.
I know this is very surface stuff here. Some might even call it trite. Hell, I might call it trite. But I just cannot stomach the thought of the U.S. being the face of aggression in another Muslim dominant sand land and for who knows for how long?! Don't even get me started on what this is going to end up costing us. I can't even stomach adding a couple of pictures to this. I'm just so done with this country putting our soldiers in harms way for no reason. I think I'm also done talking about this unless something overly asinine develops. I'm open to any other opinions, by the way. Feel free to leave them in the comments section.
I was at Starbucks this past weekend and I heard people talking about the U.S. joining in to help establish a no-fly zone in Libya. I was shocked (for reals this time) and all I wanted to do was to point out to these people that we are already involved in two other wars that no one ever talks about! They were acting as if our military's presence is not already being felt in two Muslim sand lands and has been for the past ten years. But no, I just let them talk. I think I was too stunned to even pipe up, anyway.
Speaking of the no-fly zone, why are we participating in the bombing of things? There have been buildings bombed and trucks bombed and all sort of stuff bombed. Last time I checked, none of those things flew. How is this a no-fly zone and not just a bunch of planes and subs bombing stuff? Don't get me wrong, I'm not necessarily against it (though I don't think that I can necessarily be for it), I'm just pointing out that those things don't fly.
I'm tired of the U.S. being the world's policeman. There is absolutely no reason for us to be involved in the Libya thing. The U.S. has no vested interest in Libya one way or the other. I'd also like to know who is in charge of picking and choosing which atrocities we get involved in. OK, so the Libyan forces were killing the rebels. (Are we all really so surprised that Gaddafi isn't going quietly into the sand dunes like Mubarak did over yonder in Egypt? I'm more surprised that Mubarak didn't do the same thing that Gaddafi is doing.) There is constant rape going on in the Congo. Or is it just Congo? Whatever it is, it's very rape-y over there. That's not important to stop? What about Kim Jung Il? He's a lunatic in platform shoes and ladies eyewear and likely has nuclear weaponry. Why don't we take him out while we're at it? No, instead we're all focused on Libya for some reason.
I know this is very surface stuff here. Some might even call it trite. Hell, I might call it trite. But I just cannot stomach the thought of the U.S. being the face of aggression in another Muslim dominant sand land and for who knows for how long?! Don't even get me started on what this is going to end up costing us. I can't even stomach adding a couple of pictures to this. I'm just so done with this country putting our soldiers in harms way for no reason. I think I'm also done talking about this unless something overly asinine develops. I'm open to any other opinions, by the way. Feel free to leave them in the comments section.
Monday, March 21, 2011
We're Scientifically Doomed
I came across an article over yonder at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette that was titled "Why does U.S. fail in science education?" My question after reading that headline was "Why does the U.S. not only fail in science education, but also in proper grammar?" But I digress. Back to science. I really find the scales that they use to be completely meaningless, as they tend to categorize students as being 'proficient' or not. The problem with that is that in order to qualify as 'proficient' one usually has to get a minimum of around 60%-65% of the material correct. Sixty or sixty-five percent of anything is not proficient. It's barely half. And on most grading scales, it's all but failing. So I like it better when I am provided with how many people could actually answer the questions correctly. But let me be clear. I like the format better, not the results.
And that's what the article over at the Post-Gazette provides us with. They give us the percentage of people who could correctly answer some of the science questions. The results are so dismally low that I really want to know what people answered instead of the correct answers, as the correct answers seem to be pretty easy to noodle through. Let's take a look at some of them. 
Fourteen percent of test takers thought that sound travels faster than light. OK, that's a solid 86 percent getting it right. I'm good with that. What I'm less good with is that 33 people disagree with the fact that Earth goes around the sun once a year. What the hell do think happens? Do they think it goes around more than once a year? Less than once a year? Do they think that the sun goes around Earth? There aren't a lot of choices that would make sense. I don't get it.
Here's one of the more appalling ones: 41 percent of people disagree with the statement that astrology is not at all scientific. Almost half. Geez. Just because stars are involved, it does not mean that it is scientific. It's a load of crap. I realize that there are plenty of people out there who really believe in this load of crap. I also realize that there are plenty of people out there who really like this sort of crap. That's all just fine. You can believe in it. You can even like it. But that doesn't change the fact that it is not scientific. No matter how much you like it. 
And this one is as troubling as it is mystifying. 49 percent of people think that ordinary tomatoes do not have genes, but genetically modified tomatoes do. This just makes my head hurt to even think about. Where do those dimwits think that the genes to modify the tomatoes come from? The gene store? Even if you don't know squat about genetics specifically, shouldn't you be able to noodle this one through? Apparently not. Do I take any consolation that, while in 1988 only about 10% of adult Americans were rated to be 'scientifically literate', in 2008 that number had risen to around 28%? No. Not really. 28% percent is abysmal. And who even knows what that means, anyway? We're just doomed, that's all. Simply doomed.
