He's "Sick"

Apparently, pretty, pretty John Edwards is not looking forward to his trial for being a sneaky (and likely thieving) weasel with his campaign finances. And really, who would look forward to something like that? But John Edwards, being the pansy that he is, seems to be willing to do whatever he can in an attempt to avoid the inevitable.

According to the Huffington Post, Mr. Edwards "...says he has been diagnosed with a medical condition that would make it difficult for him to attend his approaching criminal trial over campaign finances and is asking for it to be delayed". Uh-huh. A medical condition that will make it difficult for him to...sit in a courtroom? What in the hell kind of "illness" makes it so that you can't sit? Hemorrhoids? I'm pretty sure that they already have treatments for that. Then again, Mr. Edwards hemorrhoids could be caused by him having his head so far up his arse. Hard to say if there's treatment for that.

Now, his lawyers have filed a motion with the court to have his trial postponed because of said medical condition. And they seemed to be OK with letting everyone else know that they were doing this, though they weren't willing to disclose exactly what the ailment is. Shocking, I know. The article also doesn't say how long they need to postpone for. Again, shocking.

Edwards has already postponed his trial once before on the grounds that he needed "... more time to prepare his defense and attend his daughter's wedding." Attend his daughter's wedding?! They postpone the start of trials for stuff like that? Is that because of the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing? It must be. I can't think of any other reason why they'd go for something like that. Oh, well, there is one reason I can think of. He was a fairly prominent politician (whom everyone liked until he cheated on his cancer-ridden wife with some tramp who he allegedly gave campaign funds to). I'll bet that had something to do with it.


Stay tuned to find out what is ailing John Edwards and when his trial will actually start. If everything that is going on pre-trial is any indication of what the trial is going to be like, I think we could end up with a circus on our hands. Yay! I love me a good circus!

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Say What?

Well. Yesterday, at the trial of Michael Jackson's doctor, a one Conrad Murray, the prosecution played some audio tapes of Jacko when he was kind of...well...out of it. It was probably due to his being under the influence of a particular sedative used for things like, say, when people are having brain surgery. (It could also be used to sedate any number of uptight rhinocerii. The point here is that it's strong.) Seriously, it's pretty sad. You can barely understand the guy. It's not so much like you're hearing him from beyond the grave as much as it is that you're hearing him from in the grave. It sure sounds muffled. And while I'm not here (just yet) to pass judgment on the guy, I am going to say that if you know anyone who is in the condition that Michael Jackson was in, you should probably do a little bit more for that person than to tape their barely coherent little screeds. See for yourself. There's some of the audio (and don't worry about understanding it because it's transcribed) below. And if it doesn't load, click here.

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Didn't See That Coming

You know that this is going to be about the Casey Anthony verdict. Like there's anything else to choose from really. Actually, there are a load of things I could ramble on about, but this one seems fun.

Now, I know that there are a lot of folks out there who are really butthurt over the not guilty verdict. I agree that it is a sham of a verdict. Did those people on the jury hear the same evidence that I heard? I keep reading things online (take that for what it's worth) like "It was all circumstantial" and "Nobody knows exactly how she died." Umm...circumstantial doesn't mean it isn't worth anything. I mean, there are going to be circumstances. That's just how it is. And do we need to know how she died? Dead is dead. And it's like the prosecutor said in his closing statement: "You don't cover up an accident to make it look like a murder." No. No, you don't! And that has nothing to do with anything being "circumstantial". It has to do with flat out logic.

Next up...Kim Kardashian! (There are some words I never thought I'd say.) For some reason, the media had latched onto Kim Kardashian's tweets about this case. Now, from what I can tell, Kim Kardashian doesn't have much going on upstairs other than how to successfully market herself. That she is a genius at. Everything else, including breathing? Uhhh...not so much. But she has been into this case. And after the verdict was announced she tweeted the following:

Now, just as a little bit of a refresher, Kim Kardashian's father was Robert Kardashian. Robert Kardashian was part of the team that got OJ Simpson acquitted. Granted, she was 14 at the time, but you'd think that she would be acutely aware that these things CAN happen. There can be people who are seemingly guilty as can be (and who may or may not have sliced the heads off of a couple of people), but through the adept skills of lawyering (and picking a jury with sawdust for brains), the client can be found not guilty. That's what made your father famous, Kim. It's likely the only reason why anyone at all knows who you are. Don't be so surprised. You should know almost better than anyone else how this works.


And on the plus side (if there is one) at least we won't have to hear Nancy Grace in that shrieking voice of hers refer to Casey Anthony as "Tot Mom". That is the worst nickname ever. It's just ridiculous AND it's too all encompassing. it could be referring to anyone with a (wait for it) tot. The other positive outcome of this whole ordeal was watching Nancy Grace try not to lose her s*** after the verdict came down. I seriously thought that her head was going to explode. That was a little consolation after the soft-headed paste-eaters rendered their verdict.

I don't understand what happened in that jury room. And it's likely that I never will. But hey, I guess I can just hope that decades from now, justice will be served when Casey Anthony is caught stealing her own sports memorabilia.

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Worst Defense Ever

The Casey Anthony trial has finally started. In case you're not familiar, Casey Anthony is a 25-year old scumbag (I'm being subjective here, but it's likely to turn out to be a factual subjectiveness) who claimed that her 2-year old daughter was abducted by a babysitter in 2008. Yet she didn't call the police. In fact, she never called the police. (There was also never a babysitter.) She admitted to her mother that her kid was gone and then her mother called the police about a month later. Then about a bazillion people spent about five months looking for the little girl, only to find her dead. Shocking, I know. Casey Anthony has been appropriately charged with multiple atrocities like capital murder, aggravated child abuse, aggravated manslaughter of a child and misleading law enforcement. Naturally, she does what scumbags of her type tend to do and has pleaded not guilty this entire time. The prosecution is seeking the death penalty. And fortunately, since this is all in Florida, they actually execute people down there. So if the jury can do its job effectively, this chick is going to get what is coming to her.

Opening statements roll around yesterday and her camp offered up a rather surprising and excruciatingly lame excuse for all of these shenanigans which resulted in one dead toddler. See, the defense said that the little girl drowned. And instead of calling 911, Casey just panicked. Oh, and they're also claiming that her dad was there and helped her dispose of the body. Wow. Way to go. Try and bring down your dad in the process. OK, then.

What kind of an excuse is that, anyway? I guess it's the excuse of someone who is extremely desperate. It's lame as hell, though. Are they aware that the standard is "reasonable doubt", with the key word being "reasonable"? Idiotic, mouth-breathing, paste eating doubt is not a standard. And that's what you would be upholding if you were to actually believe that load of crap. But I guess if you're a defense attorney and your client is so obviously guilty that you know that it's a lost cause, I guess you just say whatever you can .

That's probably the reason for her defense attorney saying, "We're not here to talk about how inappropriate Casey acted." Hmm. You know, you can say that, but in reality, it is exactly why you are there. All of the inappropriate murdering of your own child (allegedly) is exactly what you should be talking about. CBS News also reports that their case "...will have a lot to do with the meter reader who found Caylee Anthony's remains". Oh, good. I'm sure that he'll enjoy that. I'm sure that he'll enjoy being made out to be something other than just the guy that found the body of a toddler. As if that wasn't bad enough, now he gets to listen to some defense attorney make up stuff (allegedly) in order to try and save his seemingly obviously guilty client. Nice.

Apparently, the proceedings are being televised. I'll be tuning in every now and then to see how this goes. Especially when the defense has their turn. That should be entertaining. I'll definitely tune in for the verdict. Watching that chick find out that she's guilty and no one bought her unlikely tale of events will be very enjoyable for me. You go, Florida. This might be the one thing that I can count on you for.

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