The Donald Trump Debate

Can someone please explain to me this idiotic ritual that the Republicans who are running for the Presidential nomination seem to engage in when they pander to Donald Trump? Why are they meeting with him? Why do they feel it is so necessary to get his seal of approval (and probably to kiss his ring)? Since when does Donald Trump have anything at all to do with American politics and how they're run?!

I thought that we would have heard the last from The Donald after the tantrum that he put on regarding President Barry's birth certificate. Trump did everything but come right out and say that he didn't believe that President Barry was born in this country. He even said that he had 'investigators' over the in Hawaii and that we wouldn't believe they things that they were finding. (And really, if the 'things' that they were 'finding' were that he was actually born in this country, I highly doubt that I would have been surprised by that.) He made himself look exactly like the tool that he apparently is.


And now what is happening? Why, he's holding his own debate, that's what! How does that happen? Why does he get to hold a debate? (Can anyone do that? Because I've got some questions! Oh, boy, do I have questions.) He's a reality TV show host/star. That's how most people know who he is these days. If he didn't have Celebrity Apprentice, would we be having this conversation? I don't think that we would. And if that is the case, why him? How is he any better than Kim Kardashian? She's a reality show star. Is she going to host a debate next?! Dear Lord. I can't even go there.



So far, however, some of the Republican candidates have shown at least a shred of common sense (which is a trait that has been absent from most of the previous debates so far). Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman and Mitt Romney have all said that they won't be attending Donald Trump's debate. The only ones who have committed to going are Newt Gingrich (who might be really smart, but seems to be a soulless, unethical weasel) and Rick Santorum (who doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of locking up the nomination). I can see why Newt would go as him and Donald Trump both seem to be self-important blowhards who love themselves an awful lot. And as far as Rick Santorum goes, well, his showing up to this thing really accentuates just one more reason why we don't want him anywhere near the presidency.


This thing needs to not happen. Donald Trump needs no encouragement in this arena. We need serious debates with people that are actually invested in the process and not out for their own personal promotion. And really, I know we're doomed, but why speed up the process by letting Donald Trump do whatever he wants?

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A Dead Terrorist Meets Photoshop

Ah, Photoshop. Is there nothing you can't do? With your abilities and the creative wit and talent of the Internets, it really adds an extra element after the assassination of the most hunted man in the world. Let's review.

I'm sure that a bunch of lefties think that this picture is just great and that it's a smack in W's face. Me, I'm just glad that ol' Weird Beard is dead. I don't care who did it. But that doesn't mean that I don't find the image below a bit amusing. Because I do. A bit.

The question now is whether or not people will continue to mix up their names?

You knew that there'd be something referencing that buffoon, Donald Trump. Could he look like any more of a jackass at this point? (Only if he continues to press stupid, stupid issues about Obama's qualifications. Or just open his mouth to speak in general.)

What I didn't expect was a Michael Scott reference.

And you know that this is going to be remembered in North Korea just a little bit differently than in the rest of the world.

And even though every news anchor was thinking the thought below, some of them still couldn't get it right.

And while this started out about Photoshopped images, I must sadly mention a couple of fairly amusing but NON-Photoshopped instances that occurred on Sunday. Whoever was responsible for changing the headlines at Fox News should be fired. Who the hell is Usama Bin Landen and what in the hell is 'Confrims'?

And after someone is done firing that idiot, can they fire the announcer below who reported: "President Obama speaking from the East Room of the White House, telling the nation and the world President Obama is in fact dead." Seriously? I'm pretty sure in fact that President Barry is NOT dead. I can understand the Obama/Osama slip up. But the words "President Obama" sounds absolutely nothing like "Osama Bin Laden". Not even close. How do you make that mistake?

And with so much excitement this past weekend, I shall remember all of it with a single image.

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Trumping Trump

Last night was the White House Correspondents Dinner. I would love to attend that wingding one day (and not just because the super cute Seth Myers is usually in attendance), but I had thought it was just for journalists and the media. I apparently thought wrong. Very wrong. There's hope for me yet. I saw Paula Abdul there, for cryin' out loud. And my arch nemesis Morgan Fairchild was even in the audience. (Yes, there's a story behind that one. You can email me if you must have the sordid details of why I will likely hold a lifelong grudge against Ms. Fairchild.) So I don't see why I can't go.

Below are the two halves of Seth Meyers humorous speech. Yes, I realize that it's long, but I find Seth Meyers to be intellectually amusing, so it doesn't seem quite as long. Regardless, if you're just interested in the good stuff, skip the first one and catch the second one. I think it's right after the first two minutes that he starts in on Donald Trump. And while his Trump jokes might not have been that great, Trump's reaction to them is that great. He sits there stonefaced and doesn't even crack a wisp of a smile. Welcome to the public world of politics, Donald. People don't care how rich you are or how great you think you are. You're going to get made fun of. I mean, with that hair along, how could you not?

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He's Not A Kenyan, He's A Socialist

Well, Wednesday was interesting. That was when President Barry released his long form birth certificate because he finally realized that not doing so was causing the entire country to go off the rails. The final straw in the insanity which is the birth certificate issue seemed to have been Donald Trump making a big deal about it. And I find it odd that the emcee of a reality TV show (in which D-List celebrities are compelled to complete some wacky task in hopes of staving off elimination) brought this issue out of the woodwork of the crazy and into the mainstream woodwork of the trying-to-not-act-crazy.

I think I understand how it got to this point, though. I mean, I agreed with President Barry not releasing his long form birth certificate before now because he had already released sufficient proof. And besides that, it made people that continued to question it sound like blathering idiots. What he didn't count on (and what I hoped wouldn't happen) was that people started to actually listen to the blathering idiots and started to convince themselves of that nonsense. The next thing you know, you have the majority of Republicans and a good handful of Democrats believing that President Barry was born in another country. That's not going to do anyone any good.

But do you know what might not do any good either? Releasing the long form birth certificate just as he did. Look, people are going to believe whatever they want to believe with certain things. They're especially prone to being intellectually dishonest if they don't like the guy that is the current President. It happened with Bush (Gore had the most votes and Bush wasn't really President) and it's happening again with President Barry. It happened with Presidents before these guys (I vaguely remember a couple of Clinton conspiracies after Vince Foster offed himself) and it will happen with Presidents after these guys. And no matter what the truth, those who were in the wrong aren't going to admit it.

And I don't even know if Donald Trump really believed the crap that he was spouting to begin with. He said a lot of things before this was re-resolved that he won't cop to now. But that's because he's a crazy carnival barker-esque narcissist. Let's see how he's taking the reality that President Barry was actually born in Hawaii. When surrounded by reporters, one guy managed to get this question off to The Donald: "You said yesterday, "We hear that it is missing." Before that, you said, "You won't believe what my investigators on the ground are saying." Do the people in this country now need to doubt the information that you're being given? Were you making this up? Where did this information come from?"

A reasonable question. Too bad that there wasn't a reasonable answer. "Noooo. I think that what you're going to see...First, we have to look at the certificate. But I am really happy that this has finally taken place because we have some issues that are..are unbelievably important."

Wait. What was that? That's not an answer. Never mind the fact that we DO have issues that are unbelievably important that are not getting the attention that they deserve because of this issue that TRUMP BROUGHT UP HIMSELF! Yeah, try to put that aside for a moment. The reporter realized that it wasn't an answer either when he said, "You didn't answer my question, sir." Trump's response? Guess. Just guess. "I think I did. No. I did. I did answer your question." Oh, for cryin' out loud.

Ummm...no. No, you didn't. See, you weren't so much answering as much as you were just talking. And while there does have to be talking in order to get to the answering, just because there is talking doesn't mean that you're actually doing the answering. No, you just reiterated how freaking proud of yourself you were. And I still don't get that. Here you were, going around saying that you doubted that he was born in this country. Then we get MORE proof (as proof was given a long time ago) that he was born in this country. So, you're proud of the fact that you looked like an ass for doubting it? You're proud that you claimed that the birth certificate was missing? That gives you warm fuzzies inside, Donald? Wow. OK, then. Not even an "I'm sorry. I was wrong." Interesting. You suck. Both as a human being (which I'm only giving him the benefit of the doubt about) and as a jackass.

I haven't seen any recent polling to see if the events that unfolded on Wednesday are going to change anyone's mind. While I am hoping (probably against all hope) that it has snapped some people back into reality, I'm afraid that it hasn't. No, I'm afraid that those who are hardcore are going to look at the newly released birth certificate and have the following questions:

I wish I could say that I thought that this was all done, but I know that it isn't. So, for what won't be the last time, let me reiterate: President Barry wasn't born in Kenya. He's not a Kenyan. He's not a Muslim. He's a freaking socialist! Keep your eye on the ball, people! FOCUS!

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Donald Trump: Birther

As if Donald Trump wasn't whack-a-do enough, he has now come out with a rather birther-like stance about President Barry and his birth certificate. I guess this is getting press because allegedly Donald Trump is thinking about running for president. I don't really think he's going to, but I think he likes to be out there, stroking his own ego, and let others stroke it as well. (Yes, I know what sounds like, so keep your comments to yourselves!) I'm going to get behind what Jon Stewart told Extra TV when Stewart was asked what he would think of it if Trump did run for president. "A gift from God. That is, if he's to continue this, it would be a gift from God. He would be, in fact, gold-plating my living room. I'd be excited to see him do that." And while my living room wouldn't end up gold plated like Mr. Stewart's, I'd still have one heck of a good time with that one as well.

It came to light on 'The View' last week that Mr. Trump was more of a nutjob than I had previously thought. Personally, I can't watch 'The View'. All of those shrews talking at the same time in those shrill voices? And offering opinions based upon absolutely nothing other than their estrogen? No thanks. But I did catch the clip where The Donald said that he had "a little" doubt about whether or not President Barry was born in this country. He said something to the effect of there must be something on his birth certificate that he doesn't want people to see. He also thinks that it is weird that no one remembers him from early in his life. Where to begin?

First of all and for what I wish was the last time, he already has produced a copy of his birth certificate. There was also an announcement in the Honolulu newspaper after his birth. And finally, if there was anyone on the planet who would prove that he was not born in this country and thus ineligible to be president, it would be Hillary Clinton. Do you really think that she didn't have every single resource at her disposal working on this issue when she was campaigning for the Democratic party nomination? She wanted to be president so bad, she would have done just about anything short of murder in order to get it. (And really, I'm not even so sure that was ever off the table.)

But back to The Donald. Now, in an "exclusive" with Newsmax, Donald Trump has "...released his birth certificate" in an effort to...um...well...I don't know what the point of that was. One of the "points" that he makes is where he states "I went to the best college and I was a great student, and it is inconceivable to my brain that no doctor, no nurse, nobody has stepped forward to verify the birth, other than the governor. He remembers? The governor? A birth 50 years ago? Come on. He’s taking a bullet for his party." Oh, for cryin' out loud! Really?

That's the best that he can come up with? First of all, President Barry is 50. It would not be inconceivable for the people who were in the delivery room with him to be dead at this time. After all, his parents (who were a fairly integral part of the process) are dead. And I find it absolutely insane that when the governor says that he remembers the birth of Barack Obama (if that is what Donald Trump is referring to there) that it isn't good enough! That's what Trump wants, isn't it? For someone to come forward and say that they remember? Someone did! But on top of that, you know why it doesn't matter? Because he already HAS produced his birth certificate! What part of that don't those people understand?! (By the way, strangely enough, people have talked about remembering his birth. You can look at this article over at Snopes.com. Feel free to pass it on to Donald Trump if you happen to see him.)

But back to Donald Trump's birth certificate! When President Barry did provide a copy of his birth certificate, it looked like this:

OK. There it is. Also, there was this announcement (49 years ago) that appeared in the newspaper:

That's good enough for me. But Donald Trump, in some sort of weird effort to prove something, releases his birth certificate and it looks like this:

Are you kidding me!? THAT is acceptable to Donald Trump as something that proves someone was born in this country? I could make that on Photoshop in less than ten minutes! I could probably do it in less than five minutes provided that I already had a template and a nice star sticker on hand. Is it filled in with pencil? What the what is that anyway?! I have never seen a birth certificate that looked like that. Are we sure that Donald Trump was born in this country? What's underneath that sticker? What is he trying to hide?!

I find it amusing that this is still an issue with some people. Granted, I find it more annoying than I do amusing, but it's still amusing none the less. I guess that people don't realize how ridiculous they sound when they talk about not believing that President Barry was born in this country. They also don't seem to realize that when you sound like a gigantic fruitcake, it does very little to further your cause. That is, unless your cause is furthering fruitcakes. In that case, you're golden. But in the real world, you're a bit of a doofus, Mr. Trump.

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